Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

CharlieOrion Say more :
Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!
By CharlieOrion - / Friday 4 May 2012 12:25 / United Kingdom
By viviham / Friday 4 May 2012 12:08 / United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

anonymous4991 Say more :
From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.
By anonymous4991 - / Friday 4 May 2012 00:39 / United States
By Anonymous / Thursday 3 May 2012 23:35 / United States
By mathguy - / Thursday 3 May 2012 12:16 / United States
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