Transportation: Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents....

By dileigh - United States

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75089

You deserved it

3611

Favorite

Transportation

Music nerds of the world unite!

Mystery woman

Capitalism kills

By Jfly25

Today, while on my way to work, I had a tire blowout. I got the car towed and borrowed my mom’s so that I could still get to work. Her car seized and died on the expressway ramp. It’s not in any tow truck’s jurisdiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3978

You deserved it

283

Favorite

By longtrip - United Kingdom

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34899

You deserved it

2390

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47823

You deserved it

7585

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26159

You deserved it

1928

Favorite

By Anonymous - Israel - Ramat Hasharon

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26999

You deserved it

8707

Favorite

By mandiballz - United States

Nice

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year-old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He said, "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36676

You deserved it

4428

Favorite

By regret - Australia - Warrnambool

My regret

Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1891

You deserved it

462

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57722

You deserved it

8364

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lake Ariel

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44985

You deserved it

4025

Favorite

By H8TR - United States

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16556

You deserved it

53867

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, after I'd remembered to start writing a list of my PTSD symptoms for my shrink, because I'm extremely forgetful, it finally took me three days to remember to write down forgetfulness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1417

You deserved it

205

Favorite

By hairyarms - Australia

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24233

You deserved it

5655

Favorite

By Anonymous - Israel

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11435

You deserved it

23401

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Harrisburg

Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17250

You deserved it

1441

Favorite

By LovedByFamily - Germany - K?ln

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34353

You deserved it

2302

Favorite

By DeepFriedZombie

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15855

You deserved it

1148

Favorite

By Chris - United States - House Springs

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10182

You deserved it

22639

Favorite

By Sir Smokalot - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43083

You deserved it

2864

Favorite

By oldlady - United States

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41034

You deserved it

2445

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30922

You deserved it

2330

Favorite

By GroosedOut - United States

Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44510

You deserved it

5386

Favorite

By dummy - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15513

You deserved it

57438

Favorite

By PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30916

You deserved it

3480

Favorite

By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12536

You deserved it

2619

Favorite

By arghgffhdfg - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22148

You deserved it

2422

Favorite

By stickyservice - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40146

You deserved it

3259

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20748

You deserved it

1677

Favorite

By Anonymous

Parked, indefinitely

Today, my mom told me I wouldn't be able to take driver's education until at least my sixteenth birthday, because I'm, "Not ready to drive a car." Isn't that the whole point of driver's ed? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1288

You deserved it

347

Favorite

By FASHlONABLE - United States

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37061

You deserved it

9954

Favorite

By Stu - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23589

You deserved it

2751

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64899

You deserved it

7733

Favorite

By justonce - United States - Williamstown

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45196

You deserved it

3504

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54342

You deserved it

5578

Favorite

By Sadwife - United States - Pardeeville

Today, I had my wedding at 11 a.m. so that I could spend a lot of time with my friends and family. Everyone left within 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11044

You deserved it

1946

Favorite

By gamerlaura

Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML

I agree, your life sucks

9135

You deserved it

7427

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Canterbury

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34975

You deserved it

10342

Favorite

By nofinal - United States

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8273

You deserved it

30485

Favorite

By peterpan - Germany

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9312

You deserved it

30550

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Valencia

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40364

You deserved it

4145

Favorite

By eyesightfail - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28396

You deserved it

15452

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Danny_Shakes | 0

#25292 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:00

My parents bought me a suitcase after graduation so I could move all my shit our of their house.

By trying_madly | 0

#25284 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:57

how funny, that's what i got for my 18th birthday from my parents, to add to the three i already had. My older brother got a computer.

I guess bath robes are the universal sign of parental love.

COMMENTS

By yeahreally | 6

#25274 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:55

that sucks....either its the recession, parents who play favorites or just downright suck

Immatheprez | 0

#2785130 - Wednesday 29 June 2011 16:05

maybe they want you to be the next hugh hefner????

rcbarnes | 24

#4090697 - Sunday 26 February 2012 7:31

Way to re-enforce the gender stereotypes, eh?

patriotsfan12 | 4

#5232664 - Monday 10 December 2012 7:09

Guess they ran out of money :(

Kielnmsoftly | 26

#6440286 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 22:42

@122 go take your sjw ass to another site.

By surething | 0

#25282 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:57

My parents didnt even want to buy me dinner when I graduated...

aznbitch | 0

#851188 - Saturday 13 February 2010 8:37

wow imm sorry. when i graduated 8th grade; my parents got me a MacBook.

PurpleSquirrel | 0

#973779 - Sunday 4 April 2010 1:56

that's because you're asian

lntreis_fml | 0

#1611463 - Wednesday 27 October 2010 17:15

lol

Noelletakumi | 36

#6074004 - Thursday 25 September 2014 22:30

99, nobody cares.

By Kassad_fml | 0

#25283 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:57

That`s not good at all.. bad parenting.

By trying_madly | 0

#25284 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:57

how funny, that's what i got for my 18th birthday from my parents, to add to the three i already had. My older brother got a computer.

I guess bath robes are the universal sign of parental love.

By ohhboyy | 0

#25291 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:00

dont they feel slightly awkward, or are they too ignorant to notice how wrong that is

By Danny_Shakes | 0

#25292 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:00

My parents bought me a suitcase after graduation so I could move all my shit our of their house.

By replicate | 0

#25294 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:01

My mom bought me a pair of tweezers... she bought my brothers a weeklong trip to London and a car. So I feel you there.

By generalsmith | 0

#25297 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:01

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By tanmandown | 0

#25310 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:05

Buy them a stick of butter for their anniversary to show how much YOU care about THEM... and how whore-ish you think they are for pulling this sort of crap on you.

By zoopy_fml | 0

#25316 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 0:08

Economy's in the shitter, thems the times!

Maybe all of the gifts are meant to be combined for one joint experience. Ring+ bathrobe + Europe = YES!

JustTemporary | 24

#4786617 - Wednesday 8 August 2012 8:24

Bracelet*