Sports and Animals: On the run

On the run

By broussimousse - 10/03/2009 20:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 062

You deserved it 32 617

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Same thing different taste

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 839

You deserved it 9 494

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 941

You deserved it 4 832

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 70 893

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 978

You deserved it 4 567

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 526

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 549

You deserved it 51 991

By Eli123 - 01/05/2009 00:52 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 496

You deserved it 51 795

By Tom - 06/06/2017 11:00 - United States - Antelope

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 503

You deserved it 448

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 043

You deserved it 48 714

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:22

why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??

stephfml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:17

hahah you shouldve just used your shirt

Comments

Jonny_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:13

Hahahaahhahah!

Amkii 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:15

Be happy it wasn't poison Oak or Ivy!!

MehrunesDagon456 20

Wednesday 10 September 2014 1:14

I read that as Professor Oak and Ivy. Too much pokemon..

stephfml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:17

hahah you shouldve just used your shirt

may_cause_fail 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:18

Silly, birds don't wipe their asses. Also, did you not expect to get sweaty on a run? Come on now.

not1 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:18

hahaha, i actually laughed reading that. smooooth!

mhwang 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:21

LOL, yeah i agree with 4. Why didn't you just use your shirt?

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:22

why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??

dotmyg0t 0

Monday 6 June 2011 15:31

Yeah, she is ******* stupid. YDI.

chinchilla_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:26

Hahaha #8!!! I was thinking the same thing.

LovesickMelody 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:26

@ 3 I seriously thought it was going to be Poison Oak!

fml0rjs 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:28

[sarcasm] My goodness. Girl's sweat? Well now that I know this, I'm not sure I will ever find a woman I could be with. Every time they sweat I will just be repulsed. Any girl who sweats should just give up on finding a man. [/sarcasm]