Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Twisted107's comment : that's probably why it got deleted

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Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

by loner / 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

by blinded / 02/11/2011 at 11:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 10:46am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

by anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 4:54am / Work

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

by Jen / 02/11/2011 at 4:02am / Animals

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

by alliwantisabandaid / 02/11/2011 at 3:27am / Work

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

by Eres / 02/11/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

tesuan's comment : I'd say dump him but that is too damn funny

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Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

by Zibby / 02/11/2011 at 12:51am / Intimacy

robc32ca's comment : washing is a better option

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