Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

#11838934
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (17532)

On 07/12/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Fefe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

#11834698
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (28141)

On 07/12/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

#11832599
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (4968)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:56pm - animals - by maggotsinmycarpet - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13055) - you deserved it (69630)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (5255)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (48679)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (8291)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (10352)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML

#11815113
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43994) - you deserved it (2978)

On 07/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (5235)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)



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