Kids: Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating...

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 10 858

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 412

You deserved it 42 020

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 184

You deserved it 6 177

My kids would never lie

By au. - 06/01/2022 05:01

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 98

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 544

You deserved it 27 557

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 48 809

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 3 047

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 611

You deserved it 10 776

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 683

You deserved it 3 373

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 281

By Amanda - 05/05/2018 15:00

Today, my daughter has been using the "supertaster" excuse to not eat my cooking. To prove to her that she isn't one, I blindfolded her and gave her a bowl of jelly beans, then asked her to plug her nose and identify the flavors. She got every single one correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 3 930

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

Comments

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

tofuzoo52 0

Monday 8 March 2010 17:02

agreed

nollid7 5

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:32

That's what you get you perv

COURT_KING 14

Monday 19 October 2015 16:57

Please explain to me how that makes OP a perv

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

ZING_MASTER 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:07

I'm totally NUTS for that ZING!!!

Sunako_fml 9

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:08

LOL! i hope you cleared up that misunderstanding..

jake_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:09

the real surprize? she really is preg-goes

th3wh1tee 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:10

That is going to be an awkward next day at school for her.

may_cause_fail 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:32

XD How did you not see that that could happen? Hilarious though.

StarFoxy2010 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:35

haha. You made my day. Thank you. =)

FeelMuchBetter 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:37

Sorry, calling BS on this one

PureGold 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:50

hahaha, I hope her parents bought your explanation xD

stickynachos 0

Friday 22 October 2010 3:36

Threadless FTW.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Annoying Work Relatable Health Ableism Vacation Love Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Cute Tinder Money Embarrassing Dogs Cats Poopoo peepee Stressed out ADHD Mental health Gross Anger issues Kids Parenting Family Funerals Roommate Drugs Lonely AITA

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