Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's... - FML

By Cody - 07/03/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 080

You deserved it 21 183

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Same thing different taste

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 943

You deserved it 5 942

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 037

You deserved it 8 434

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 2 049

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 140

Jumpy

By TheSentinel05 - 27/10/2020 12:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 226

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 447

You deserved it 14 433

By Sadasian - 14/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 168

You deserved it 4 119

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 751

You deserved it 5 970

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 845

Next

Top comments

texmas 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:37

Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.

Spinach 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:55

Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."

Comments

texmas 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:37

Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.

Fab0luZ 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 0:40

lmfao.! Mother Win.!

b182link 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 0:09

my mom would say that too lol, but jist kidding

theking12369 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 0:21

that's a good comeback hahah

hippo23 0

Friday 18 June 2010 6:31

haha your kinda a jerk for saying that OP, ur mom is awesome btw!!

areforever 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 0:13

Daaaaaamn

isaiaha11 2

Wednesday 29 September 2010 2:43

PWN!

beejay13 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:41

That's so mean... =(

Adrian66_fml 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:54

Oh, get over it. So what? You were an accident. Boo freakin whoo.

zac12345 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 18:54

^^^^ this what's the insult in being an accident? you're here aren't you?

jannie22 0

Monday 28 March 2011 2:03

mean

Checkitawwt 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Topasofmagic 17

Tuesday 4 June 2013 10:31

3- It wasn't that mean, considering that op didn't even say sorry. The vase maybe meant allot to the mother and op just said "accidents happen". And I don't see how it's mean to say that op was an accident, she was still wanted considering that they didn't do an abortion... Ps. This is my first comment on this site, so be gentle with the down votes... :)

Llamalamp26 11

Monday 23 December 2013 7:33

Has anyone thought of the fact that maybe their mom was joking... •o•/ NO WAY!

McZeal 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:54

your mom's a bitch

Spinach 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:55

Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."

snakeye_fml 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:55

ouch want some ice for that burn?

iplaylax 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 6:16

she dropped his ass

Zuriel45 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:57

Accidents do happen

sasha717 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:57

awwwww :[

dang_fml 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:57

agree with #5, and lol @ #6 but dang, ur mom is mean!

nunes36 20

Thursday 7 October 2010 10:25

wahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

may_cause_fail 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:00

You probably should have apologized before saying that, but still. That's harsh. :[

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 166

Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 237

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 37 019

Today, my boyfriend met my brother. They're both over 6 foot, and big. They glared at each other like they were about to start a fight, then out of nowhere shook hands, hugged while laughing like lunatics, and have been besties all afternoon. Why are gym bros such weird idiots? FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 415

#regrets

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 126

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 31 002