Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML
Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML
Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML
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Top comments
Yunie_fml 0
Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.
Emika_fml 0
That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?
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Comments (84)
danny_ 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your grandpa has the hots for you..
RyanKaufman 7
Err no, not the hots. And OP shouldn't be so upset. My grandpa says dating is an abomination of God.
iMaGiNaTe 0
I'm wondering if there is a map just like this of single moms... hmm, my friends wouldike it :D
z620 0
hahahahaha sry but it's a little sad ur gramps is trying to hook u up
luluk854ever 0
u have an awesome grandpa. at least he cares enough to get u anything
zolltf 4
66- poor you xD OP- don't worry, it was probably his.
Zazouuu_fml 0
Humm... I'm not sure, but maybe he's trying to tell you something by giving you this...? :D
Yunie_fml 0
Someone's in a hurry to get those great-grandchildren.
input_fml 0
he knows you too well
Goose_fml 0
What a brilliant grandfather!
Tehalon 0
Maybe he just wants grandchildren before he dies? :P
JenDanielle917 13
she IS his grandchild. he has grand children. you mean great grandchildren
Unidentified 0
Some sort of HINT perhaps?! :P
Emika_fml 0
That's an awesome gift! Where can I buy one?
raptor_fml 0
if you are a male, then your grandpa is hilarious.
llamingo 8
Lol yeah but the icon is female
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
That's actually pretty cool