Sex and Intimacy: You coming?

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 805

You deserved it 8 867

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Same thing different taste

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 185

You deserved it 21 862

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 265

You deserved it 1 578

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 462

You deserved it 803

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 906

You deserved it 5 152

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 3 202

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 261

You deserved it 4 987

By gross - 20/10/2010 16:14 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 290

You deserved it 3 974

TurtleGenius 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

Probably the best feeling she got all night...

Phillay632 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:12

Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.

Comments

classicalteen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY I'M FIRST :D ps. that's icky.

no_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

that's foul

Mr_Trumpet 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

Second is the best! =P And that seriously made me lol.

Osakhomen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:01

Haha, that funny!

Theatregeek788 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:13

lmaooo!!

summerguy97 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 8:30

Mehuehuehue

classicalteen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

second is sooo not best :] if there was a trophy, mine would totally be bigger :] lol

TurtleGenius 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

Probably the best feeling she got all night...

Elfkid21 19

Sunday 28 July 2013 10:29

Tool.

fuckmyl1f333 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:03

thats nasty im sorry

iPhanny 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:03

I'm sorry but that made me LOL. Wow, srsly #4?

xlovelessx 0

Monday 15 February 2010 21:56

woahh u look like me o.o

melkell 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 5:43

you all look the same

nina_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:04

If you can't tell the difference between having to sneeze and being close to ******, YDI.

lame16 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:05

LOL , hot.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 103

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 124

The Top

Today, I went to my long-distance boyfriend's party. His best friend was talking to me and trying to make conversation, he asked, "So, are you two official?" I responded with a definite yes, but was cut off mid-word by my boyfriend, who quickly said, "No, not really." Sorry, I wasn't aware, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 614

You deserved it 4 370

Today, I babysat a four year-old kid, so his parents could go out to party. Once in bed, he yelled, "I want to go party!" After three or four times, I told him to go to sleep. Two hours later, he'd wet the bed, saying, "I told you I want to go potty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 994

You deserved it 52 314

Today, my mom told me that I wasn't allowed rights until I was eighteen, or until I took on some duties. The rights include having or expressing ideals that don't match up with hers. She doesn't know what duties I should have. My options are to either take on nonexistent duties, or keep my mouth shut for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 205

Today I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 446

You deserved it 233

Today, I thought it would be fun to make a grand entrance at a party by doing a backflip through the door. I misjudged the height of the door frame, crashed my shins into it, and landed on my face right on a pile of shoes by the door. The host asked if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 1 329

Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 368

You coming?

Same thing different taste

That'll do it

Hott

Do it again

Top comments

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