Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.
PhoenixLE 0
You're a moron. YDI.
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Comments (797)
Endymion_fml 0
You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.
hornetchik 0
Who the **** clicked 'FML' for this one? Seriously, OP, your a ******* bane on society, go die.
rawrgrr911 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yep, nowadys theyre just kinda like you stole that imma go ahead and file a report, like let me talk to you about that thing i know you stole, and youre gunna get arrested give me back my shit beyotch(:
sillypiper 0
why steal, are you actually that pathetic that you can't get a job and pay for your clothes? or are you just that vain that you think you're better than everyone else and deserve the things you take from others?
aethum 0
I agree 111111% percent.
loski87 4
good, that's karma kicking you in the ass.
srammer99 0
lol that all I got to say
1zinzanzin 0
god for somone with that name I didn't think u would care
akfml11 0
I agree, #392. WHO THE HELL CLICKED I AGREE, YOUR LIFE SICKS? this shoplifting retard deserved it, x1000!
ReyEr9412 0
1. How did the OP not notice the uniform the manager was wearing? 2. OP, go die in a hole. You deserve this. 3. I assume that every "Your life sucks" resulted from an accidental click/tap. If not, then whoever meant to do that may jump into the hole and join the OP.
lambiee 0
^ agreed 100%
amazinggbaby 2
422 Most teen shops don't have uniforms that set them apart, they usually just have to wear clothes that are from the store
DarkPrince_fml 0
your kind is a fail
VampireKiller59 0
YDI for being a thriving bitch
brainiac94 0
**** you for stealing.
Hi_Itz_Me 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
did anyone consider the fact that maybe the OP didn't actually steal it and he/she just wanted to sound cool? I'm not saying I feel sorry for the OP. either way, he/she deserved it but everyone keeps calling him/her a thief when he/she might really just want to be cool. not that shoplifting is cool though.
Bstaut 8
first 7 words, I can tell you're a piece of shit. I agree with 1 and 392 completely. go die in a hole.
firstdbzmaker 15
445- He clearly said he was shoplifting at the mall
brookiebaby1212 0
she clearly states that she was at the mall SHOPLIFTING so ya I think she stole it.
kidwiththehair12 0
if you're gonna steal don't admit to it asshat
madisonpwnsyou 4
Dont shoplift...?-jackass.
johnfuknstamos 0
You never acknowledge the fact that you stole something... duh.. learn to steal properly.
toxicbeer 0
asshole
dut777 0
dumbass read again... " i was at the mall shoplifting"....
supertacowaffle 41
fail of a person
CakeBaker11 0
haha if your gonna do it might as well do it right.
certified_camel 0
your so hot
Carelesshottie1 5
Fail!
rubyredringpop 0
I agree, but 422 still has a point. ;D
TruthBeTold36 3
I like the way you try and give him the benefit of the doubt... but I don't think that that's the case. OP is a thieving bastard and definitely deserved this.
rulerofwow 0
would probably work better in one of two ways: 1.If you king to steal, don't tell someone ur gunna steal. 2.don't steal in first place dumbass, much less post about it on the Internet -.- 3.don't be a dumbass. -.- -facepalm-
Muthalecka 1
"she looked pretty cool so I nodded..." You fail at life OP
shelbie8timer 0
The op said they were at the mall shoplifting...
YeaWhoFMLitsme 7
hahahhhaahaha low life
Sparks808 10
A thriving bitch? You want OP to thrive? Oh, did you mean thieving? All makes sense now :)
kprando25 8
Okay, I didn't understand a word of that. Next time use proper grammar so other people can understand you.
eeoc777 6
#420 - people like the "OP" (whatever that is?) and me who have a different view on matters than you do, dont be so narrow minded! just because you think the shoplifter was wrong doesnt make it so, different people have different morals, you know!
sarahpercival 4
#445, She clearly states that she was shoplifting within the first like 5 words.
ifuckmonsters 5
******* idiot, never admit to the crime!
Vaati_fml 20
422 - By clicking "I agree, your life sucks" they may have meant that is life sucks because he's a thieving piece of crap or because he's stupid enough to post it here and expect sympathy.
Akay4 14
Hey 645, just because they have different moral codes doesn't mean that they are automatically correct for following it...If someone's moral codes would allow them to kill someone just for a task to be easier doesn't mean they are right.It means they're a murderer.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
#445 The OP said " I was at the mall shoplifting..."
nrevogcmamme 17
Bastard is too nice of a word for OP.
AnonymousFunFMLs 18
Yes what she did was wrong, but telling someone to go die is a cruel thing to say. There are very sensitive people in the world so don't think your words can't effect them.
thepersephone666 11
oh go cry about it somewhere else ^
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
...she said she was shoplifting in the first sentence...
CoolCookie210 22
Yeah. I accidentally click the "I agree" button out of habit, but then I actually thought about the post and now I wish u could take back clicks. That bitch deserves it.
thedeej 10
Yeah I agree that OP was really stupid in what he/she did. Why the hell would you try and steal and tell someone that you are stealing something? But to all of you saying go die and shit like that, come on. They stole something. It's not like they murdered another person. You guys saying for OP to go die in a hole is pretty low. Even though they definitely deserved getting caught.
Rkikkas9713 25
You're an idiot. Shoplifting is stealing. OP ADMITTED TO SHOPLIFTING. Reread the FML and take back that idiotic statement.
norags 10
You do realise that the OP opened with being at the mall shoplifting?? Even if he/she didn't steal that particular shirt, they're still a thief.
KarmaRules4 7
He said in the first part of the comment THAT HE WAS SHOPLIFTING. You fail just as much as the op
Watervixen 27
I agree
PhoenixLE 0
You're a moron. YDI.
metal8214 0
lol don't be retarded
awkward_turtles 1
Reads "Today I was at the mall shoplifting"... Automatically clicks YDI
brainface62 0
comment moderated
thetrollyoulike 6
mmm stealin's bad, m'kay?
loveanthony645 5
There shouldn't be an "I agree, your life sucks" button.
TheCaterpiller 6
Op, you are a dumbass who deserves any punishment you get
FatGuyLover 0
Any is pushing it, dont u think the death sentence is a bit too much for a shirt?
laya_fml 26
There should be a FYL button. FYL for being so stupid and being taught that it is acceptable to steal. But anyways, yeah. You definitely deserved that.
deepunder 17
With people like you, crime wouldn't exist. (Talks to neighbor) Idiot- I just robbed a bank today. Pretty cool huh? So how's your police work going? Neighbor- you're under arrest ! Idiot- for what? Neighbor- robbing a bank Idiot- how did u find out?!?
McLaughlane 0
You're a freaking idiot. :/ huge YDI.
YouDontSeeMe 0
That's what you get Wynonna
marleyvk 0
*Winona
AWESOM_E 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA Karma is a bitch, especially when mixed with stupidity. YDI all the way
justin_ro 3
u r so right!
ttqq 7
*you are
ecilart 0
wow lolol you deserved that big time
broadwaygirl22 0
the minute I read "I was at the mall shoplifting" I clicked YDI
AshKat 0
Wow. Idiot. That's an FML for your mother having such a stupid child!
chargerfan121 0
lol
ttqq 7
Insightful comment 408
Panime 0
I can't decide which is more retarded. You or the people who actually believe Karma exists.
ArbiterOfFML 24
different religions. Don't be an international heretic.
Jester epic_151 11
The fk of course it does
stonerchu 0
Thats what you get for trying to act cool dumbass
PureGold 0
I automatically clicked YDI when I read "Today, I was at the mall shoplifting." Idiot.
Metzler31 17
same here... what an asshole
heatrider986 1
same
powermad80 2
same here
hc20 0
same
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
same
iHaveADream_ 0
c-c-c-c-combo breaker! (:
gurman27 3
How can i favourite this comment!!!! Tht made me laughh!! :P, btww u deserved it op
Wapoosh 3
I had to read those words 3 times before realizing they arent spelling errors
HanaFML 10
Same