All the FMLs

Lost

By Icy - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 498

You deserved it 4 039

By SweeT - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 938

You deserved it 55 147

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 817

You deserved it 5 782

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:54

Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 186

You deserved it 13 074

Rent hike to be expected

By Benji - 13/10/2008 08:32

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he turned out to be my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 397

You deserved it 24 158

By enjoy - 13/10/2008 08:30

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 369

You deserved it 23 109

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 746

You deserved it 8 331

By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 222

You deserved it 12 109

Subtle

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:28

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 020

You deserved it 17 332

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 423

You deserved it 19 728

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 661

You deserved it 76 957

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 997

You deserved it 108 985

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:24 - Australia

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 568

You deserved it 74 988

By Sarah91 - 13/10/2008 08:23

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 524

You deserved it 16 596

By bym - 13/10/2008 08:23

Today, I got braces fitted. For the next two years, I'll be the most handsome guy on earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 665

You deserved it 24 500

By mehdi-online - 13/10/2008 08:22

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 733

You deserved it 18 039

By RaYan - 13/10/2008 08:22

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 75 164

By RatQuiRit - 13/10/2008 08:21

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 774

You deserved it 15 899

By mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 500

You deserved it 33 847

By mocass’1 - 13/10/2008 08:19 - France

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 647

You deserved it 43 844

Dude, STFU!

By Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 152

You deserved it 20 272

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 472

You deserved it 16 492

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 418

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 095

Today, I saw a friend’s Instagram post. She's lost so much weight since the last time I saw her, so I slid in her DMs hoping to score a date. It was going quite well until I asked her out and she responded, “You’re only asking me out because I’m skinny now, right? You’re barking up the wrong tree” and she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 374

Today, I finally went out on a date with a cute guy. At the end of the date he said, "hey I'm hungry, I've got pasta at home. Do you like pasta?" I replied without hesitation, "not much, I'm gluten-intolerant." I realized about 3 hours later that he probably wanted to invite me to his place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 1 959

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 771

You deserved it 44 838