Love: Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in...

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 184

You deserved it 69 360

Love

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Same thing different taste

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 581

You deserved it 50 261

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 458

You deserved it 23 813

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 080

You deserved it 3 660

Could you stop doing that, please?

By Scabs - 09/08/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 2 633

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 04:00

Today, a woman maced me from her car window because I was approaching her in a menacing, rapist kind of way. She never happened to consider that my car was in the parking spot right next to hers. She didn’t apologise, just said it was my fault for looking like a rapist, and drove away leaving me half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 106

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 615

You deserved it 4 058

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 120

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 26 826

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 20 236

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 4 363

sodawater19 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:09

how do you not see the window is down? thats more of an FHL for having to wear an eye patch

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

She should poke you in both eyes just for being stupid :[.

Comments

Kozzy333 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:08

Wow, that is pretty shitty.

lanlas 0

Saturday 11 September 2010 5:41

hahaha, now you're gf is a pirate

sodawater19 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:09

how do you not see the window is down? thats more of an FHL for having to wear an eye patch

facilitator 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:46

she obviously used windex

pinkpolarbear 8

Wednesday 20 July 2011 8:36

106, WHAT A WIN! Charlie Sheen style too

emptyrepublic 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

Agreed #2

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

She should poke you in both eyes just for being stupid :[.

_abcdeF 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

an eye for an eye , makes YOU blind.

sinceidcishare 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

If it's an eye patch, like a pirate eye patch, that would be really awesome...in more ways than one... ;} Plus, I would love to have an answer to the question #2 asked. How did you not notice the window was down??

yes_yes_yes 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:11

o.O......O.o....o.O....wow... good job there.... single much?

Lauriebug 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:13

haven't you ever run into a screendoor/glass door because you had already decided it was open and thus completely ignored the signs to the contrary? it's amazingly easy to mistake something like that. i find this hilarious and i hope your girlfriend does too.. after the pain stops at least.