Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark....

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 198

You deserved it 86 625

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Same thing different taste

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 55 064

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 368

You deserved it 5 105

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 634

You deserved it 4 827

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 26 433

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 121

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 668

You deserved it 63 212

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 952

You deserved it 2 845

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 131

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 229

You deserved it 2 475

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 4 163

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:24

What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.

SarahB0184 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)

Comments

disgustingroomie 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:20

ouch WHOOP first

pommeblossom 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Aw man :/

junkboy 4

Thursday 24 June 2010 23:15

I hate paranoid people so much... They are just a special breed of stupid people, whom I also hate... xD

supersailor32 0

Monday 25 April 2011 5:04

I laughed so hard!!!! XD

clojo1112 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 17:46

at least you got the right person?

SarahB0184 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)

Kozzy333 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Overly paranoid. I got mugged by three huge guys and I am not that paranoid. Just take it easy next time.

castnerinho 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:22

why the **** were you carrying a mace in the first place

apfunction 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:22

#5=win

RougeRamirez 8

Friday 13 January 2012 20:42

They meant 'mace' as in 'pepper spray' not the medieval weapon

gionatorinc 5

Tuesday 3 July 2012 6:34

aaaahh, that makes a bit more sense..

abcdefghayley 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:22

well that sucks. but i get really paranoid too, hah

iryna 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:23

#4. maybe that's why you got attacked by three huge guys. Better safe than sorry.

westzac 7

Friday 2 May 2014 19:27

Well she was trying to be safe and she ended up sorry

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:24

What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.

Meel_fml 2

Thursday 14 October 2010 21:50

yea execpt worse

pokerface71 14

Friday 6 June 2014 1:23

That's what I first thought of, was confused at first.

Kozzy333 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:25

#7 As a 16 year old boy, carrying mace would be a bit much.

noName123456 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:28

ya mace is like pepper spray and ydi for being so paronoid not everyone is out to get you what if it had been a friend just trying to mess with you

TheDarkCynder 2

Thursday 1 March 2012 4:32

Paranoia is a disorder. I don't see how OP deserves something that is a result of a disorder.

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Same thing different taste

Freaked

Opportunist

Freaked out

Leg it

Misunderstood

Better safe than sorry

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