Transportation: Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16193

You deserved it

72493

Tweet

Share

Understandable

Instadrama

There's no helping some people

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50704

You deserved it

7125

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28150

You deserved it

7448

Tweet

Share

By youngblood - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31615

You deserved it

4790

Tweet

Share

By ppema - United States

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27693

You deserved it

2213

Tweet

Share

By Phazzer - United States

Today, I went outside to enjoy the cool air without my glasses. I saw my neighbor doing the same, so I waved and said hi. When she didn't respond, I yelled and went back inside. It was only later when I went back out with my glasses on that I realized I was being ignored by a Halloween decoration. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10468

You deserved it

33605

Tweet

Share

By h4rdy - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12164

You deserved it

36996

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68457

You deserved it

8257

Tweet

Share

By Cold&Soaked

Today, I set my alarm and got up early to view the Super Blue Blood Moon. I was all wrapped up in a blanket and had a perfect view from my backyard. It’s been a truly amazing experience, made even more exciting by the sprinklers turning on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3748

You deserved it

795

Tweet

Share

By Rosie - United States - Brunswick

Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16061

You deserved it

1676

Tweet

Share

By Chad - 10/9/2020 04:02 - United States - Norfolk

Cloth ears

Today, my hubby asked me what we were doing for dinner. He'd already asked me twice and each time I responded, he said, "Sounds good." He has no idea why I feel like he doesn't listen to me. He's been doing this shit for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1359

You deserved it

279

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

On call

Today, my boyfriend accused me of not coming home at all last week. The truth is, I was up and gone to work before him every morning, and I was home after he went to bed. He didn’t even bother talking to me or asking where I was last week, we both work 24/7 on-call jobs, and he knows this happens sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1566

You deserved it

141

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - York

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23740

You deserved it

4671

Tweet

Share

By disney_dick - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4845

You deserved it

1966

Tweet

Share

By drurbanXVII - United States

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23205

You deserved it

49258

Tweet

Share

By stop thief - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43952

You deserved it

6079

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30128

You deserved it

10838

Tweet

Share

By forreal

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1809

You deserved it

351

Tweet

Share

By MissQ - 20/6/2020 17:01

That's a great look!

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1057

You deserved it

556

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12543

You deserved it

27096

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37008

You deserved it

3969

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37144

You deserved it

2646

Tweet

Share

By Robert - United States - Anchorage

Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4349

You deserved it

431

Tweet

Share

By unknown - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38118

You deserved it

5153

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 13:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Shove it, lady

Today, my neighbor complained that the trailers and sheds in my yard are ruining her view. The same neighbor who built her house right above my property, thereby ruining my view, and leaving not even enough space for a hedge in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks

845

You deserved it

62

Tweet

Share

By danielesnaranjo

Drunk online shopping FTW!

Today, after waking up with the worst hangover in years, I got a bank notification that my credit card was maxed out. Apparently, I bought a $1500 plane ticket for my ex-girlfriend to come over this weekend. She’s in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

659

You deserved it

2125

Tweet

Share

By treegirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

121792

You deserved it

39682

Tweet

Share

By syco - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34186

You deserved it

7350

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was rear-ended while heading to my appointment with my physiotherapist. This is the physiotherapist I am seeing to treat the pinched disc I got from being rear-ended 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6298

You deserved it

411

Tweet

Share

By Glenn - 21/3/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Baker's dozen

Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1695

You deserved it

102

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, I woke up from surgery to find that the chronic warts on my right hand hadn't been removed. The doctor informed me that they'd grown into my radial nerve, so impossible to remove without permanent paralysis. My immune system sucks, so this is just in my hand forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3805

You deserved it

243

Tweet

Share

By negromancer - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

56560

You deserved it

4348

Tweet

Share

By Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31896

You deserved it

9688

Tweet

Share

By razzipost1 - Canada

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39799

You deserved it

2029

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12425

You deserved it

44827

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1812

You deserved it

108

Tweet

Share

By blah. - Thailand

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45862

You deserved it

3829

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

2341

You deserved it

828

Tweet

Share

By ValeyFallsAlot

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26811

You deserved it

2982

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42911

You deserved it

23931

Tweet

Share

By pandabear - United Kingdom

Not you

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35594

You deserved it

4678

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By corruptionoflol | 0

#114051 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:57

learn to drive

By Dukedj | 0

#114030 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:52

That sucks, maybe you shouldn't have been such an idiot though...

COMMENTS

By Dukedj | 0

#114030 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:52

That sucks, maybe you shouldn't have been such an idiot though...

By jgardner12 | 0

#114032 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:53

Haha talk about embarrassing.

By ilaughatfmls | 0

#114033 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:53

smooth.

By Bitts | 0

#114035 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:54

Why?

By iknow_fml | 0

#114045 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:55

woooow

By corruptionoflol | 0

#114051 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:57

learn to drive

By x_eyebrows | 0

#114067 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:58

:) Yeah, you suck at driving. Paying attention would have prevented this moment.

By kel_riv | 0

#114069 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:59

I've almost done that so many times. when a car is in your blind spot and you quickly check your mirrors and think you have infinite room to back out, you aren't careful at all and that can happen. though I've always noticed at the last moment and prevented an accident. so maybe you are a bad driver.

By bananahammock | 0

#114071 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:59

there are so many reasons why this shouldn't have happened... YDI

By Mostskillz | 0

#114072 - Wednesday 15 April 2009 22:59

Smooth Move Ex-lax...