Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I...

By Joe - 16/04/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 999

You deserved it 138 100

Miscellaneous

Dysfunctional

Dementia or hate? You decide

Hack it off

By back to creepers - 21/12/2013 20:05 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 466

You deserved it 6 490

By stupid - 26/05/2015 06:54 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 197

You deserved it 51 362

By SimG - 07/07/2013 12:35 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 026

You deserved it 24 137

By Stan - 29/08/2011 21:19 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 9 568

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 296

You deserved it 8 074

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 216

You deserved it 1 882

By Username - 23/07/2011 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 198

You deserved it 3 210

Thanks, I guess

By joAnne - 03/03/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 587

You deserved it 4 138

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 155

You deserved it 5 096

By Eureka! I still lose.... - 09/02/2018 19:00

Today, I was accused of cheating on our math test, instantly granting me a perfect zero. How? I used the wrong formula on a problem, but ended up with the correct answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 271

Strange kind of porn

By Jeanine - 13/05/2021 20:01

Today, I had to admit to myself that recently my biggest kink was watching Sam Seder debate libertarians. My oh my, watching him dunk on them on YouTube gets me hot and bothered. This feels wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 711

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 852

You deserved it 2 516

Young love

By gee thanks - 04/11/2021 23:00

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 249

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 18:29 - United States - South Burlington

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 075

You deserved it 2 913

By wowawesome - 18/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 338

By Emily S - 09/10/2011 05:17 - Australia

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 291

You deserved it 40 309

By deadbeatdad - 15/11/2015 22:35 - United States - Edmond

Today, I popped two tires hitting a curb. I called my dad hysterical, and he told me to call my mom and hung up. My mom's been dead for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 604

You deserved it 2 186

By waiterrrrrrrrr - 02/08/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 763

You deserved it 6 961

False Advertising

By Alex Xavier - 25/06/2018 01:30

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 906

You deserved it 719

By pepsifoot - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 021

You deserved it 4 093

By ugadawgs09 - 02/11/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 361

You deserved it 14 157

By brokenhearted - 19/01/2016 14:59 - Sweden - Kung?lv

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 961

You deserved it 3 545

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 12:40 - Canada - Toronto

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 809

You deserved it 1 532

By Deweyboy - 30/10/2016 04:23

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 718

Full house

By ugh. - 21/04/2019 07:00 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, after waiting two months to attend a very important course, I finally got to go. This is the same day I caught a horrible cold, got Auntie Flow’s monthly visit, my IBS flared up, and my acid reflux as well. So here I go, crampy, constipated, congested, and gassy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 240

By movingbuddy - 08/01/2013 13:31 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 946

You deserved it 3 954

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 372

You deserved it 45 072

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 1 872

By L - 16/10/2012 22:59 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 6 857

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 538

You deserved it 5 736

By college will be fun they said - 15/09/2017 19:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was running late to class and slipped down a staircase. Not only did nobody help me, but when I got up I noticed an old man staring at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 551

You deserved it 406

By angrystudent - 07/03/2016 22:47 - United States - Franklin

Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 501

You deserved it 2 059

By IMayBeAFool - 13/10/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, after I'd spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confessed she's a mental patient who stole someone else's identity. She was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 790

By Anonymous - 19/04/2015 14:04 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 3 573

By Skittles - 13/08/2017 20:00

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 731

You deserved it 1 248

Not working out too well, huh?

By Coldandcalculated - 13/10/2021 02:00

Today, I learned that my fiancée copied my house key early into our relationship. The reason being is that in case I were to catch her cheating, which I did, she could come in and trash my place when I called off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 121

By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 251

You deserved it 4 216

By thatguy - 28/10/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 152

You deserved it 9 158

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 5 519

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Top comments

chanceuse_fml 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:50

Fail.

Khiruki 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:51

...Haa... haha... Idiot.

chanceuse_fml 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:50

Fail.

Thabb 0

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Friday 7 May 2010 13:57

YDI for cheating

teentee401 36

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Wednesday 3 September 2014 5:37

That's probably what was written on the top of OP's test paper

Khiruki 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:51

...Haa... haha... Idiot.

JodeMiVida 13

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Wednesday 20 July 2011 16:43

^This.

amirn86 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:51

YDI for even thinking about cheating, take it as if you were protected from doing something to bring yourself lower in moral status/worth

apfunction 0

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Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:14

who gives a fuck about morals? 10 years in the future, I think she'd rather have a nice job with good pay, even if that means she cheated on a test. but have fun living on the streets preaching about how much morals have done for you.

tofuzoo52 0

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Saturday 27 February 2010 0:25

indeed i would i job. cheating ftw.

Spongii101 12

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Thursday 15 April 2010 15:34

But if you cheat, you might get the job but you won't have the knowledge to be good at the job, so you'll get fired. Hence the expression 'Cheats never prosper'.

Tigro_fml 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:52

OMG, thats too funny! EPIC FAIL indeed! Next time write out the cheats u want quickly in pencil on ur desk.. duh

googlefrewdnoob 0

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Thursday 29 September 2011 8:50

Exams are usually in test halls, eg you don't have access to the materials beforehand. They DO check the desks

yes_yes_yes 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:53

As if a few notes on your ankle would save you! =P YDI! (and you deserve the fail) =P

Scheisse11 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:54

YDI big time. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin-eater.

carolinetheberry 0

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Monday 9 May 2011 9:06

oh please everyone has cheated on a freaking test

googlefrewdnoob 0

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Thursday 29 September 2011 8:52

I've not cheated on a test. It's called taking the time to learn and the fact that I tend to remember other things that help me arrive to the answer of a question via logical thought. Don't say I cheated, ho.

MehrunesDagon456 20

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Thursday 2 October 2014 0:41

You are a retard. 97% of the time was a, the rest were b. OH WOW, HOW DID I DO IT WITHOUT CHEATING? By studying.

Karmarocks946 8

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Thursday 8 December 2016 22:07

Nobody with any sense or morals cheats

jdb2009 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:54

You ever notice that there are a lot of people who cheat on tests that consequently write FML's a little later on???? People, there's a pattern here and that patter is....ready?? You deserve that one.

ovaltine 0

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Thursday 16 April 2009 19:54

meh. Be thankful you didn't get caught and get your test ripped up. Because from the sounds of it, you're so un-smooth that you probably would have been caught if you had tried to cheat..