ALL FML

By scotto - 23/02/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

agreeclassic 76 532

vote type 1 3 494

By JRock - 22/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

agreeclassic 46 928

vote type 1 4 875

By amandapurple - 22/02/2009 19:02 - United States

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

agreeclassic 41 770

vote type 1 12 396

Splashed out

By El Boz - 22/02/2009 14:52 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

agreeclassic 20 131

vote type 1 61 921

By highlycontagious - 22/02/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

agreeclassic 42 203

vote type 1 6 733

By 987564 - 22/02/2009 07:24 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

agreeclassic 44 691

vote type 1 11 412

Sorry Grandma

By damn-it - 22/02/2009 06:41 - Australia

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

agreeclassic 20 950

vote type 1 48 331

By secenteenmagazine. - 22/02/2009 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in Seventeen Magazine. They were in the "What not to wear" category. FML

agreeclassic 39 257

vote type 1 13 428

By Noname - 22/02/2009 06:14 - Australia

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

agreeclassic 45 378

vote type 1 3 217

By FailAtLife - 22/02/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

agreeclassic 13 193

vote type 1 33 763

By Noname - 22/02/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

agreeclassic 14 411

vote type 1 76 581

By Vince - 22/02/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

agreeclassic 61 018

vote type 1 4 448

By Whothrewhim - 22/02/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

agreeclassic 49 903

vote type 1 10 911

Whothrewhim app_comment_confession_title

Whothrewhim 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 7:12

Damn, You guys are harsh. I am 20 so not technically old enough to drink, I am from the North, Asshole, and it was a legitimate accident, not involving power tools, or due to the alcohol, it just simply was not a smart decision to drink. Also, I was home from college. ******* A.

By taperjeangirl - 21/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

agreeclassic 43 778

vote type 1 10 563