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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (3704)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

#7047511
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous. - United States

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy starts talking to me, then suddenly loses interest. Afterwards, I see the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

#7047006
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8584) - you deserved it (19226)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lame (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (31460)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (3207)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

#7041342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (2728)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by 20 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

#7040883
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (51187)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (3862)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, I woke up at a strangers house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

#7036487
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (41631)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by jagerbombs (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (4432)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (6456)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (23855)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)



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