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Today... I updated mah Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin... seeing the status... failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all mah family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including mah husband in Iraq. FML

#6864986
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (12272)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by notpregnant (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today... boyfriend of 3 yeres announced that he is not ready 4 marriage... and won’t be 4 'at least' another 2 yeres. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people... I said yes... and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

#6863631
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (2378)

On 12/21/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Agata (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room... stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago... but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father... my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (8438)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriendho is not me because her siblings and cousins do not accept me . FML

#6861780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (2661)

On 12/21/2009 at 7:13am - love - by theraarman - Sent from mobile version

Today , it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he crid to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punchd himself in the face. Then he droppd me off to spend time with his mom. fat FML

Today, I got first looool tip . It was a Mentos . FML

#6861005
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (5308)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today ile ma boyfriend was sleeping I got naked and sat on top of im!! He woke up and I asked im if e would rater stay awake or go back to sleep in opes tat e would stay awake and want to do some naugty stuff wit me!! His response? To grab ma butt and ten go back to sleep!! FML

#6860527
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (16517)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hopd to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was ( labtop. ) I didn't leren the correct spelling until my daughter calld me an idiot, she's 6. FML

#6859638
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4905) - you deserved it (37281)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:04am - work - by eliteslayer29 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much 4 making me look smarter. big fat FML

#6859062
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4342) - you deserved it (50069)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I was sleeping in my room wen I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followd by a tud. I walkd out to find a drunk grl I've never met collapsd in my doorway. After puking all over te place... se ad me call er fater wo pickd er up 10 minute later. FML

#6857935
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I putted the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the manho left me at the altar 3 yeres ago. FML

#6857833
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (2431)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by budapesthungary - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30364) - you deserved it (4277)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

today I was down the pub with a mate an we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint an then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8611) - you deserved it (31582)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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