Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
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Top comments
hardcorepunk87 18
"Put your hands where we can see them!! Wait! No! Put them back! Put them back!"
rainbowsRlove 15
sir put the weapon down
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Comments (55)
DippinGrizzly907 27
For as long as this FML has been posted and not one person commenting goes to show how this is a true FML. So bad in fact, that people don't even know what to say. And the FML community is one rowdy bunch! May the Almighty One bless your eyes and soul with a bleach bath...
SOILEDIT 51
...what?
EvilTurtle 35
#1 sounds like a crazy old lady ranting on about religion
derpina72 23
.....Dude, what?.....
paravoz 30
Seriously?
stryggzy 15
Are you high?
mds9986 24
I think he was saying that the FML was posted for a while and nobody commented instantly like they normally do. Thus, all the FML community was too speechless to say anything so it's a "true" FML.
Bryce8 11
Not the worst thing he could be doing in there but still pretty bad.
rainbowsRlove 15
sir put the weapon down
Wizardo 34
"I'm gonna shoot officer, I'm this close to shooting"
hardcorepunk87 18
"Put your hands where we can see them!! Wait! No! Put them back! Put them back!"
vikky538 29
I laughed more than i should be on this comment
amileah13 26
Yuck. Mental image burned in my brain sorry that happened to you op. At least you can share crazy stories of people doing crazy things with other officers and they'll probably relate and tell you something that happened that was even worse than what you've experienced!
sarcasmine 19
And i am sorry for you
khorstmye 15
Now in this situation do you let him finish? Or do you tell him to stop?
AnOriginalName 19
The kid turns around, looks OP in the eyes, and finishes like a man.
tylercoffman420 19
One can only wonder what else op runs into on the job
the_real_dvd 21
I wouldn't cuff him. He might think it's foreplay.
tallesttree 10
Hahaha !! Good one.
thefmlman2011 37
You might have to do some crappy stuff as a cop, but i have my upmost respect what you go through any other time.