Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows... - FML

By badhairday - United States

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44727

You deserved it

3390

Tweet

Share

Boozehound alert

Doomed

Public transport FTW

By Anonymous - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24199

You deserved it

2098

Tweet

Share

By breebree-0 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26006

You deserved it

4359

Tweet

Share

By SweeT

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17898

You deserved it

54998

Tweet

Share

By motherdearest - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76174

You deserved it

6941

Tweet

Share

By hannahj88 - Australia

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32191

You deserved it

3255

Tweet

Share

By pheonixxe - United States - Sheridan

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31827

You deserved it

8208

Tweet

Share

By Rehab - United States

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32282

You deserved it

3709

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/9/2020 23:03 - Canada

Red flags

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was really excited to meet his brother, since his brother is his best friend. One of the first questions his brother asked me was, "He did tell you he isn't the handsome brother, right?" Followed by, "You aren't a feminist are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1111

You deserved it

196

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

59678

You deserved it

6036

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Yellow Springs

Today, my friend explained that his internship was clearly worse than mine because he got yelled at by clients. One of my clients ripped out my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22428

You deserved it

1535

Tweet

Share

By ksgirl - United States

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

48078

You deserved it

4025

Tweet

Share

By GidleyWife - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25290

You deserved it

2369

Tweet

Share

By Shannon - United States - Dearborn

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44923

You deserved it

4984

Tweet

Share

By monkeyzz - United States - Sonora

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28405

You deserved it

6923

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13930

You deserved it

41679

Tweet

Share

By dk_2k16 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15469

You deserved it

18638

Tweet

Share

By hisgirl4life - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39089

You deserved it

8645

Tweet

Share

By loo

Today, I had to go claim benefits for the first time since working and paying taxes from the age of 16. I’m 50. They offered me an emergency payment of £1200, and I said no because I was too embarrassed to accept “charity.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

701

You deserved it

2439

Tweet

Share

By msamberjade - 30/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Columbus

New movie

Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2406

You deserved it

222

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6883

You deserved it

27080

Tweet

Share

By Notakidpusher - United States - San Francisco

Today, my coworker brought her 3-year-old son to work with her. When introducing him to me, she dropped her bag and bent over to pick it up, knocking him over with her butt in the process. When she stood up, she noticed he was sitting on the ground crying. She then accused me of pushing him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25010

You deserved it

1413

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8265

You deserved it

25234

Tweet

Share

By someoneelsessaliva - Australia

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45297

You deserved it

4155

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34842

You deserved it

5595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Doncaster

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40986

You deserved it

5667

Tweet

Share

By UnpaidBabysitter - United States - New York

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1567

You deserved it

175

Tweet

Share

By CrappyValentine - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11324

You deserved it

37768

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21223

You deserved it

1578

Tweet

Share

By notanerd - United States

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

14561

You deserved it

38157

Tweet

Share

By frustratedandunderpaid - Canada - Sackville

Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27165

You deserved it

1716

Tweet

Share

By matiasbarbero - United States

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24274

You deserved it

10753

Tweet

Share

By onlyslightly - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25761

You deserved it

4787

Tweet

Share

By live2dance4ever

Today, I went to attend my summer school class again after being out sick for a week. When I said "Here" during roll call, everyone started cheering and clapping. Apparently, my professor has been badmouthing me while I've been absent for pretending to be sick. I'm sure my grade will be fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1600

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after 6 years, two raises and a promotion, thanks to student loans I make less disposable income than I did when I first started this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20697

You deserved it

1950

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

I agree, your life sucks

48703

You deserved it

32859

Tweet

Share

By chels

Plebs need not apply.

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3767

You deserved it

820

Tweet

Share

By Fido - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14371

You deserved it

1513

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Brantford

Thanks dad

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42772

You deserved it

3271

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Norway - Oslo

Today, my car is being repaired, so I had to catch a bus to work. When the bus came, the driver pulled toward the curb and gunned it through a large puddle of water, then pulled away and continued down the road, leaving me soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23916

You deserved it

1538

Tweet

Share

By TheGestalt97 - 20/12/2019 05:00

Late warning

Today, an email appeared in my inbox saying that the final this week that was supposed to be on Saturday has been moved forward to Thursday. It’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2082

You deserved it

161

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By zachbredberg | 0

#539884 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

Well, obviously the car liked your hair....

By sharkshaveteeth | 0

#540032 - Saturday 5 September 2009 2:57

That is why I always have hair ties and bobby pins with me. I cannot stand having my hair windblown all over the place!

COMMENTS

By zachbredberg | 0

#539884 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

Well, obviously the car liked your hair....

Reply

Terrimina23 | 0

#539890 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

I did that to one of my friends. I nearly died of laughter.

Reply

someotherbitch | 0

#540037 - Saturday 5 September 2009 3:02

FYL for having a P.O.S. car....

Reply

genius_man16 | 0

#540070 - Saturday 5 September 2009 3:30

YDI for being a woman

Reply

HumanTorch007 | 0

#540073 - Saturday 5 September 2009 3:35

#21 fu*k you learn some class

Reply

fmlfmlfml15 | 0

#540127 - Saturday 5 September 2009 3:58

these "my friend(s) thought it would be funny to....." (and then the OP gets hurt) situations are really getting old

Reply

gonzolove | 0

#540134 - Saturday 5 September 2009 4:03

Seeing these types of comments is getting old.

Reply

zachbredberg | 0

#540296 - Saturday 5 September 2009 6:28

Your moms vagina is getting old

Reply

gonzolove | 0

#540397 - Saturday 5 September 2009 8:38

Your face is getting old.

Reply

LewJH | 0

#540791 - Saturday 5 September 2009 13:52

Your impotent penis is getting old.

Reply

TheHeroOfTime | 0

#541058 - Saturday 5 September 2009 16:47

Learn some humour.

Reply

wasted0087 | 0

#971384 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 0:05

NomNomNomNom!

By elliebutton | 0

#539885 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

LOL.

Reply

Stunt_fml | 5

#540360 - Saturday 5 September 2009 7:50

That's what happens when yo buy a foreign car. Buy American, Keep what you put into it.

Reply

gonzolove | 0

#540535 - Saturday 5 September 2009 9:32

How do you even know if she had a foreign car? As for American cars, they are all shit except for Buicks.

Reply

ElMundio87 | 0

#540666 - Saturday 5 September 2009 11:08

with the amount of petrol that an american car guzzles on, i wouldn't be surprised if it wanted some hair as a side dish

Reply

jackg198 | 0

#967154 - Wednesday 24 March 2010 4:51

no, there pretty much all shit haha.

By testing_fml | 0

#539886 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

Damn, that sucks.

By wickeddrummajor | 0

#539887 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:48

Ha!

By redbluegreen | 40

#539895 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:50

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By fatpeopleluvr | 0

#539904 - Saturday 5 September 2009 1:53

How long is your hair?

By summer66_fml | 0

#539944 - Saturday 5 September 2009 2:10

damn.....how long is your hair??? that sucks tho sorry......well at least you didnt get scalped.....

By DameGreyWulf | 0

#539961 - Saturday 5 September 2009 2:17

This is why I do not like to have the windows down all the way when I drive anywhere with significant speed.

By Intoxicunt | 5

#539964 - Saturday 5 September 2009 2:18

LOL. Yeah, that sounds tragic! I would just shave it off, in that case.

By lulz123 | 0

#539978 - Saturday 5 September 2009 2:27

lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz