Miscellaneous: Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was...

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 15:03 - United States

Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 621

You deserved it 2 496

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Tuesday 15 September 2009 0:52

Sorry, the limits on number of characters made my description a bit light on details. Dad was killed in a car accident and the insurance co of the driver of the vehicle who hit him paid out a settlement. The amount is really none of your business, but the principal plus returns between settlement and when I started to draw it was enough to cover tuition only for 4+ years. Money was placed in trust for each of us- all of us with mom as custodian, as we were minors. At that time, unless the minor changes/removes the custodian when they turn the age of majority, the custodian remains indefinetly. Mom cashes in fund and when I come home for christmas break to get the portion of the money for second semester tuition, says she used the money on a vacation for herself and my loser stepdad. Later I found out she invested it, made a killing and kept it all. She didn't want to put HER money on the line- in case the investment didn't work out. I even got to pay taxes on the capital gains!! I continued attending college until my SAVINGS was gone and LOANS I qualified for didn't cover expenses (mom was loaded from her part of the settlement and life insurance so I didn't qualify for much) I dropped out. DECADES later, I overhear her telling someone in our family that my youngest sister is the only one who used the money wisely from the settlement. Apparently, she has been telling everyone that I pissed my part of it away. Hope that clarifies. I guess having a college education would have given me the skills to change the second "she" to "mom".

Miscellaneous

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

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They targeted gamers!

By mariah_1_11 - 06/03/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 41 192

PMS FTW

By life101 - 19/10/2020 13:56

Today, I realized how emotional I get around my time of month when I cried because a cheese commercial was so "touching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 766

You deserved it 3 455

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 586

You deserved it 960

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 10 115

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 780

You deserved it 2 683

By well_f_u_too - 30/08/2018 03:30

Today, I took a night train for the first time. I woke up at 4 am to the beeping of smoke alarms and thick white smoke everywhere. The train had caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 984

You deserved it 161

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 21:59 - Australia - Epping

Today, my disability job agent, who's supposed to help me find work that fits my limitations, told me to immediately withdraw from a job offer that suited me, because it didn't meet her "benchmark". She then told me that she would decide what's "appropriate" for me, and if I don't comply, my support will be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 52

By Jessie - 23/02/2009 08:08 - United States

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 217

You deserved it 3 512

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 086

You deserved it 28 719

Godammit Ursula!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister has been telling people I’ve been dead for the last 3 months, to cover up the fact she used me to commit identity fraud. We’re identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 44

By barf - 06/02/2015 23:00 - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 738

You deserved it 3 243

Age ain't nothing but a number

By why lie - 04/06/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

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You deserved it 472

By Anonymous - 14/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got to wake up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "U got competition." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 173

By dayum - 10/12/2009 21:03 - Mexico

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 890

You deserved it 5 517

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 03:30

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 059

You deserved it 2 899

By Sam - 14/10/2017 04:30

Today, I went to the doctor to get my swollen lymph nodes checked. As it turns out, they aren't swollen. I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 904

You deserved it 888

Blackout drunk

By MagnusDeus - 07/06/2015 15:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 1 744

By hello to you too - 30/08/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 844

By whyme - 12/04/2017 22:00

Today, I met a wonderful man and agreed to go on a date. Halfway through the date, he started telling about how much he hates his wife. And his four kids. I texted him after I walked out, saying not to call me again. He agreed. His wife didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 351

You deserved it 329

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 037

You deserved it 29 493

By Dizzie Rascal - 31/08/2016 11:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I made spaghetti bolognese for three people. Of those three people, only one got food poisoning. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 289

You deserved it 1 730

By geekyteendisaster - 25/09/2018 07:30 - United States - Littleton

Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 186

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 12/01/2017 14:00

Today, I was enjoying my first vacation day in 2 years. My boss then called me to come in, saying it was an emergency. I got to work and got fired. Yes, my boss made me come in just to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 759

You deserved it 592

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 14:20 - United Kingdom - Bishops Stortford

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 412

You deserved it 8 855

By squarecircles - 15/06/2019 10:46 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 524

By fmlmao - 28/01/2017 12:00

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 560

By larvagirl23 - 18/06/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 628

You deserved it 5 292

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 678

I am the passenger…

By northernlass - 01/10/2010 14:32 - United States

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 462

You deserved it 36 893

By thanks_world - 26/12/2013 06:48 - United States - Everett

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 284

You deserved it 3 139

By b3ardown23 - 07/09/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 2 817

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 493

You deserved it 71 306

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 812

You deserved it 4 366

By noononononono - 21/12/2015 23:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 1 691

By wtf - 03/02/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 644

You deserved it 15 464

By Poor Student - 05/12/2011 22:30 - Canada

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 363

You deserved it 2 562

By Dirty - 23/02/2017 08:00 - Canada

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 276

You deserved it 534

Caring parenting

By cinder - 16/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Denver

Today, and every day I decide to get therapy for my severe depression, my parents spring a workload of chores on me, which mentally exhausts me to the point I can’t do anything. Including start my therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 214

By KismetSiren - 23/11/2016 10:30 - United States - Hoffman Forest

Today, I told my mother I got engaged. Her reply was a great heaving sigh, followed by ,"OK… So how's work going?" She showed more excitement last week when my brother managed to properly make Kraft macaroni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 714

You deserved it 655

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MomsFavorite 0

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Tuesday 15 September 2009 0:52

cheezburgergirl 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:04

THATS TERRIBLE!!!!! UR SISTER IS INCREDIBLY SELFISH! TALK 2 HER!!!!!

cheezburgergirl 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:04

THATS TERRIBLE!!!!! UR SISTER IS INCREDIBLY SELFISH! TALK 2 HER!!!!!

v1kt4r 13

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:23

i think the OP was referring to her mother in relation to the cashing in blah blah blah but i'm thinking maybe the FML the OP should have posted would be the part about her mom going on vacation on what should have been her college tuition, so on that note, this isn't an FML

log1k 3

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:31

@ v1kt4r Uhh no.. Her tuition money was from the settlement from her dads death. Her sister/mother used her tuition money for a vacation. This is still a FML.

TheLetterZero 7

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Monday 14 September 2009 22:46

I like how 13 and 17 keep saying "her" when the post clearly states it's a man.

skittycat213 19

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Sunday 19 May 2013 7:20

1- screw talking with her. Kick her teeth out!

iilovehaters 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:04

fuck gays!

thewalesaver 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:06

#2 What does that have to do with anything the OP said?

LockonStratos_fml 3

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:13

FYL. Though was it your sister or mother that spent your money?

mandark 9

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:06

That seriously sucks. I hope you called her out on it.

neverbr 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:06

That sucks BAD.

Witchcraft_fml 4

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:08

Kick her ass.

blalien 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:09

Student loans are fun. It sucks that your mother wasted your money, but you didn't have to drop out of college.

DarkMatter115 13

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Friday 20 February 2015 17:03

Sister not Mother

Shawnie Gallant 24

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Monday 29 April 2019 10:18

Mother not sister

ohhhhman 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:11

FYL

plexico 3

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:15

Your sister probably derived some enjoyment from her vacation. And maybe some funny T-shirts. Probably more than you are going to get from college, dunce.

wannabesinger 16

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:18

That doesn't mean you had to drop out. There's financial aid and student loans. People do it all the time

kukopia 0

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Monday 14 September 2009 20:22

We can tell that you dropped out of college... you write horribly. You didn't convey who spent your settlement. You didn't say how she (whoever it was) got control of your settlement. It's either a small settlement - that wouldn't pay for 4 yrs of college - or one hell of a vacation, esp since we have to assume that she had her portion of the settlement too.