By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 573
You deserved it 9 489
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Top comments

therealmike 0

Somebody has to do it, might as well be me.... 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!

55 9

Comments

therealmike 0

Somebody has to do it, might as well be me.... 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!

55 9
plexico 3

That tortoise wouldn't Voom! if you put four mill-ee-yon volts through it! Beautiful plumage.

1 0
therealmike 0

Oh great. Couldn't you give me the equivalent value of the internet in cash instead? I don't think I really want to have the internet.

4 2
lightburns 10

+1, I was wondering if someone was gonna say that. hehe

1 4
Moemoemoe_fml 0

I was going to quote that too, but hadn't watched in a while and couldn't remember. Than I saw someone else had already done it, so yay! XD *lol*

1 4
teebonehead 0

This parrot is dead !

4 2
plexico 3

YDI for buying a pet whose normal state is barely distinguishable from death.

5 2
Witchcraft_fml 4

He could still use the turtle as decoration now, that's all it was going to be alive.

2 2
plexico 3

So true! I'm sure the OP was hoping to get laid for being the "sensitive man" who cares for animals. He can use that "shy for a week or so" BS on his victims to explain the animal's torpor. He'll be done before they learn the animal's a stiff.

0 1
Witchcraft_fml 4

Exactly, though the turtle will probably get stiffer than he will.

1 2
CosmicPossum 2

Spoken like someone who's never had a pet tortoise or turtle! ;)

1 0
Emico_fml 0

This tortoise is no more! It's bleedin' demised! This is an ex-tortoise!

6 0
poofthepony 0

apparently- you aren't turtley enough for the turtle club.

12 1
Utilitygeek 0

This tortise is no longer slow. This tortise has stopped.

4 0