By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 531
You deserved it 9 478
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Witchcraft_fml 4
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So get your money back.

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therealmike 0
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Somebody has to do it, might as well be me.... 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!

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Witchcraft_fml 4
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So get your money back.

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john_bell 0
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Who's gonna refund a dead tortoise, they'll deny it was dead

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ffmmllyaya 0
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just sell it to the next sucker

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therealmike 0
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Somebody has to do it, might as well be me.... 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!

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plexico 3
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That tortoise wouldn't Voom! if you put four mill-ee-yon volts through it! Beautiful plumage.

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therealmike 0
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Oh great. Couldn't you give me the equivalent value of the internet in cash instead? I don't think I really want to have the internet.

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Intoxicunt 5
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It's your responsibility now!

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werzal 5
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YAY!!! WELL DONE!

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lightburns 10
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+1, I was wondering if someone was gonna say that. hehe

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Moemoemoe_fml 0
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I was going to quote that too, but hadn't watched in a while and couldn't remember. Than I saw someone else had already done it, so yay! XD *lol*

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itsnotmytree 0
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The plumage don't enter into it!

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sheehan35 2
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i was gonna do that lol

0 3
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teebonehead 0

This parrot is dead !

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plexico 3
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YDI for buying a pet whose normal state is barely distinguishable from death.

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Witchcraft_fml 4
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He could still use the turtle as decoration now, that's all it was going to be alive.

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plexico 3
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So true! I'm sure the OP was hoping to get laid for being the "sensitive man" who cares for animals. He can use that "shy for a week or so" BS on his victims to explain the animal's torpor. He'll be done before they learn the animal's a stiff.

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Witchcraft_fml 4
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Exactly, though the turtle will probably get stiffer than he will.

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Eldorko 0
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Best comment award goes to you, sir!

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CosmicPossum 2
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Spoken like someone who's never had a pet tortoise or turtle! ;)

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Emico_fml 0
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This tortoise is no more! It's bleedin' demised! This is an ex-tortoise!

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poofthepony 0

apparently- you aren't turtley enough for the turtle club.

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KingZant 0
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Winning right here.

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quivx 7

Haha! You were had!

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Utilitygeek 0
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This tortise is no longer slow. This tortise has stopped.

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