Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
Add a comment
Top comments
Comments
By
Witchcraft_fml
| 4
So get your money back.
Reply
netfreak
| 0
yah
Reply
john_bell
| 0
Who's gonna refund a dead tortoise, they'll deny it was dead
Reply
ffmmllyaya
| 0
just sell it to the next sucker
Reply
laurabev
| 9
Turtle soup!
By
therealmike
| 0
Somebody has to do it, might as well be me....
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!
Reply
plexico
| 3
That tortoise wouldn't Voom! if you put four mill-ee-yon volts through it!
Beautiful plumage.
Beautiful plumage.
Reply
therealmike
| 0
Oh great. Couldn't you give me the equivalent value of the internet in cash instead? I don't think I really want to have the internet.
Reply
Intoxicunt
| 5
It's your responsibility now!
Reply
werzal
| 5
YAY!!! WELL DONE!
Reply
lightburns
| 10
+1, I was wondering if someone was gonna say that. hehe
Reply
Moemoemoe_fml
| 0
I was going to quote that too, but hadn't watched in a while and couldn't remember.
Than I saw someone else had already done it, so yay! XD *lol*
Than I saw someone else had already done it, so yay! XD *lol*
Reply
itsnotmytree
| 0
The plumage don't enter into it!
Reply
sheehan35
| 2
i was gonna do that lol
By
teebonehead
| 0
This parrot is dead !
By
cheezburgergirl
| 0
aww
By
Matcayn
| 0
Ou crap.
By
plexico
| 3
YDI for buying a pet whose normal state is barely distinguishable from death.
Reply
Witchcraft_fml
| 4
He could still use the turtle as decoration now, that's all it was going to be alive.
Reply
plexico
| 3
So true!
I'm sure the OP was hoping to get laid for being the "sensitive man" who cares for animals. He can use that "shy for a week or so" BS on his victims to explain the animal's torpor. He'll be done before they learn the animal's a stiff.
I'm sure the OP was hoping to get laid for being the "sensitive man" who cares for animals. He can use that "shy for a week or so" BS on his victims to explain the animal's torpor. He'll be done before they learn the animal's a stiff.
Reply
Witchcraft_fml
| 4
Exactly, though the turtle will probably get stiffer than he will.
Reply
Eldorko
| 0
Best comment award goes to you, sir!
Reply
CosmicPossum
| 2
Spoken like someone who's never had a pet tortoise or turtle! ;)
By
Emico_fml
| 0
This tortoise is no more! It's bleedin' demised!
This is an ex-tortoise!
This is an ex-tortoise!
By
poofthepony
| 0
apparently- you aren't turtley enough for the turtle club.
Reply
KingZant
| 0
Winning right here.
By
quivx
| 7
Haha! You were had!
By
Utilitygeek
| 0
This tortise is no longer slow. This tortise has stopped.
'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This tortoise is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-TORTOISE!!