By Spinster - 30/09/2015 05:26 - United States - Brush
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Certainly not a very good advice. I'm a guy and i've already heard stuff like that from previous girlfriends, so you can trust me when i say it - forget about marriage with this guy, what he really means is - I don't wanna hurt your feelings by saying it out loud, but don't keep your hopes up - it's actually nice of him to be tactful and give the message between the lines but point is, he won't marry you.
This. I've always wanted to get married but my current boyfriend of six months doesn't believe in marriage. It's something I've struggled with, but I can compromise because marriage is just a piece of paper. Upon reflection, my reasons for wanting to get married are kind of selfish. I want a pretty ring, a pretty dress, and a pretty cake. If OP's boyfriend really doesn't want to get married, and that's not a compromise OP can make, it's probably better to end it. Being in a relationship for so long and not wanting the same things just makes it harder down the road. I think it's time for a lot of reflection and communication.
#34 there are other reasons to get married besides the dress and the cake. My 2 year anniversary is in a few weeks, we aren't married but we live together. We live on the other side of the country from our families. If something were to happen to either one of us, we would not be able to make the quick decisions for each other that may depend on us living or not. Other decisions would require one of our mother's to fly up here and handle the legal obligations. It would be a real hassle. A family could deny the right for a S.O. to see their partner in the hospital, a real problem for gay couples. He gets nervous about these things so I'm giving him the space to decide, but I do plan on being married, hopefully to him. and my mother is insisting that an engagement should happen soon. We have talked about it and I hope he is in that direction but he knows I won't wait forever. If your bf is dead set on not being married and the chances of him changing his mind are slim then break it off now. A little advice, when a man says they "Don't think I ever want to get married." they usually mean "I don't want to marry you." Trust me, I had this happen before.
There's definately reasons besides a dress and a cake to get married. But in my own mind thats a big thing I want, and really if I want to spend my life with someone I don't need the dress, the ring, or the piece of paper. In my situation, it's only been six months. It started as a FWB/fuckbuddy situation that evolved into feelings that have only been established less than a month ago. The conversation of not ever getting married happened long before this, and I wasn't even directly involved. Bunch of people around. Anyways I'm rambling. A lot of women can't deal with it and should call it quits before they get too invested or make that compromise.
Could be nothing, maybe he meant that he doesn't know what will happen in the future? Hope for the best, OP!
How soon? Because it's time to replace him.