Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
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Top comments
kapippenger 0
Ahw, poor girl.
charlybarly 0
hey, at least your getting your ins
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Comments (505)
charlybarly 0
hey, at least your getting your ins
bennetts211 2
How creative! Hahaha
JinDoritos 3
well, that is awkward. but hey, at least you get some. ?
zozohearts 0
There's a thing called turn off the lights.. There's even a song about it :D
yummcookie 0
my ex would only do it in the dark, but I eat my carrots ;)
fymother 13
if she can't love herself, there's no way she knows how to love someone else! sorry bud
whyXD 13
sooo, how did it go?
garrettsgirl 0
umm at least she is willing to do something just not in the way you thought she would.
SeasonedLemur 5
47# are you speaking of the legendary song by steel panther???!
Jammy01jams 2
She may have some sort of deformity on her stomach. (Know a girl with). So deal with it if you are grossed out by it, or reassure her that you don't mind.Not really an FML.
Rawr100 0
only in texas
NuTrees 9
I pictured a purple bathing suit lol
Sexy_Lettie 2
I pictured a green one lol
badmamajama123 0
i picture black, with red curvy streaks going through it
hydef14 2
I think that some people have fetishes for things like that.
godmax1 3
I pictured a matching swimming cap even tho it wasn't mentioned
kingtz 6
One hole in the crotch....does that mean anal is out of the question?
Iamaninchworm 0
I pictured a pink one.
BrokenDreamer24 15
47- That's not true. I hate my body and how I look, yet I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world. I'm very self-conscious about how I look, but I would never go as so far to do what OP's girlfriend did.
dolphincheddar 10
I pictured a black leather one covered in spikes with a skull symbol. but Thats cuz I watch too much ****
adam797 0
i pictured purple one too with white poka dots
htb2050 11
blue!
twinmum_fml 6
#153 I pictured a purple one too. lmao
FMMFL1992 3
I'd be distracted thinking about what's under the swimsuit and why she's so self conscious about it. She probably got a really hair back or something
Lexiloulynn 2
I pictured the swimsuit the ugly daughter from grown-ups wore:/
LipstickLullabie_fml 1
me too!
sydney_herbach 3
wow I have extreme insecurities but I think wearing a bathing suit would only make that more obvious. otherwise your bf prob doesn't notice, unless u have a deformity you're prob ok
ceepevoy 0
I wonder if this girl is severely overweight or if it's a mental thing, either way I think it sucks that she felt that bad about her body that she went to that extreme.
angiedancesalott 8
219 - you made my life.
Iamnotmyself 17
373 please show me where the evidence is for that, or are you going off assumptions?
Lemycakes 4
me too!!
phoenix89 2
me to haha
wtvr 2
i just hope op didnt laugh as hard as i did just now
BelleCharmante 7
My mental image was a nice, deep burgundy.
Saburai 0
lol yeah!
Bigorangebastard 3
agreed!
bambilmf 0
*all of the lights
kosmickart 0
ME TO!!!!
hhhiii 0
lmao nice
yoyoforpeace 14
I pictured a black bathing suit and a bush surrounding the hole.. :(
MissDanish17 5
Still counts! I JUST HAD SEX!!!!
sleepyglowstar 32
That is an ace song too!
driinkbleach 18
#54 is the cutest comment ever
Balthizaar 15
maybe it's a really large hole?
kapippenger 0
Ahw, poor girl.
CatEyes66 0
I wonder what she has experienced in her life to make her so self conscious about her body. Cutting a hole in a one piece bathing suit to have sex is pretty serious.
peachesbeach 0
she was trying her best :( it's quite a clever idea tbh
sansan2 0
nice pic #2
chongers18 0
When you saw her walk out you should've started humming the Jaws theme song and sexually attacked her, while pretending you were a shark and she was a helpless swimmer. :)
Opium_Production 5
^I bet she's a phreak
chongers18 0
^^ who doesn't want one of me in the bedroom?
wtf20007 10
now, that sounds like fun
denktron420_fml 0
kapippenger, I LOVE your picture. Fallout ftw! OP, I'm sorry. that sucks.
kapippenger 0
Thanks, BA game. Oh and nice Jaws idea whoever said that. Lmao
crissyspic 0
I wonder why she's so insecure. you didn't even mention if you thought she was hot or not.
justalilrandom2 4
Oh my, you lucked out there son, we all want a girlfriend who wears a crotchless one piece to do it...
Mach10 0
Actually... I'd never considered it until now, but frankly, I'm a little aroused
humzizzl3 0
lol you chubby chasers
CryMoreFMLs 14
Large people need love too! It's not fair that skinny people get it all... I'm a large man and I am proud.
peterubino 2
hahaha
justalilrandom2 4
Chubby girls give more options for sex than normal, you've got extra folds you can use.... Yum.
darkangel4700 0
yum "hey hun I found some cheese" wtf! lol I'm a tubby girl so I can talk
applznoatz 1
I like guys with some meat on their bones! Guys just look like wormy meth heads when they're too skinny. I'm not talking naturally slim, or athletic slim types. I mean wormy little skeezy types. Ew.
decidedlyvague 11
you're tubby so you can't talk. BAHAHAHAHA
lulu84_fml 5
yes!
karpoi 11
The ****? That's disturbing...... but each to their own I guess.....
xCocobirdx 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Rofl! xD
chomoma 0
LOL
jayfish7 0
STFU
SugarCrazy 14
Damn, people these days are just getting more and more creative with the comments...
NikkiFlysKites 8
329, such a clever comment. Only a thousand people have bitched about the same thing. Bravo for being so creative.
SugarCrazy 14
356, Who pooped in your cornflakes?
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Uh ohh, bitch fit!¡!¡
xjessxjessx 0
yea at least your still getting to have sex :)
iSurf_fml 8
Yeah but too bad it won't get him brownie points, cause' technically, it doesn't count.
hatesfate 6
it doesn't count? how many times have you hit your head surfing to think that?
rawrriri 8
.-. at least you still get to have sex even though she's extremely insecure about her body. As long as your needs were pleased.
tsume24 3
you hate stupid people yet you think sex doesn't count if both people aren't naked, and you "refuse to believe that 'alot' is 'a lot?'" not to mention you even look like an all-around derp and a half. can you go back to middle school so you don't make yourself look so dumb next time? thanks.
goshpeople 4
Leaving aside the idea that somehow non-naked sex "doesn't count", how in the world does having sex give you brownie points?
nissanman_fml 16
I think iSurf's mother dropped her on her head too many times when she was a baby. She claims to love proper grammar, yet fails to use it. She says she hates the stupid, but her highly unintelligent comments describe her as just that: stupid. Just reading the about section on her profile caused strain on my eyes. Please remain in America, iSurf, so that your stupidity may remain contained within the US of A.
dancebgdance 0
lmao XD I love people in general
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
owned XD
vistamar 3
Lol iSurf got freaking told...
pinkspaceboundro 0
brownie points? he is getting a homerun
tsume24 3
165, as much as I hate being American myself, I think we should give her to the toaster waffle girl's mom. keep the stupidity contained and such.
Fruitmonster2 15
What if America doesn't want her? Wait... I thought there weren't any women on the internet. Or so I've been told.
tsume24 3
271: yeah, I'm just an illusion.
maddehsaurr 0
35 any penetration counts.
maddehsaurr 0
35 any penetration counts.
iSurf_fml 8
48- Like 87 times, but who's counting?
iSurf_fml 8
Wow you guys are assholes, I didn't think before posted. Sorry for giving you headaches.
swift1fan4ever 0
not all Americans are idiots, idiot.
kapippenger 0
Every country has people they are ashamed of. It's a shame we have to have those shameful people. Shame on them!!
tsume24 3
you didn't give us headaches, dear. many people can recognize sheer stupidity with about as much effort as it took for you to produce said stupidity. am I going too fast for you?
emilieee_fml 0
tee hee hee derp in a half:) made my morning!!:)
iSurf_fml 8
363-Jesus Christ, it's funny how much you can judge me from a few comments, "dear". You must really take your shit seriously, as it seems you're a die-hard expert commenter. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm half stupid. I'm a hypocrite, we all are. Sorry for your time.
iSurf_fml 8
Sirin, please delete this. I'm ashamed of myself for trolling.
mimititi_fml 3
Best FML EVER!!!
chocomilk82 0
nahhhh i've seen better
abcd4242 0
Haha the vibrator was the best!!!
twizzlers1718 0
IMO, the one where the girl tries to bite her boyfriends neck and actually pops a pimple in her mouth is the best FML.
darkangel4700 0
no no no the one wer the guy watches his boss try to put a magnet to card board for like an hour is the best
Sessyann 1
No the best was when a girls bf jabbed her in the face with his "shark" and started humming the theme song to jaws
Miss_Whipped 43
Definitely the one where the girl caught her boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" with glow-in-the-dark condoms.
kings1fan 6
This is pretty funny! Look on the bright side at least you still get to have sex!
Mirorbo 26
Poor darling... can you really blame her? Society has turned very shallow these days. If one has just a tiny bit of tummy fat, they're ridiculed for it and called obese. It's sad...
fuff_fml 4
so true...
DjeePee 24
But why do you think she's a little bit fat? I was also very self conscious about my body when I was a teenager (and sometimes I still am, but never like this), and I was the thinniest (right spelled?) girl of my class. You're right about society, though, but even the (extra) small and medium sized people have often issues.
lidemocr 0
I think she was just sighting an example and you're kind of braggy "Ms Thinnest" lol sorry couldn't resist
bryyxoo 0
Even an FML comment seems to make people insecure these days. Sorry, couldn't resist.
SeedlessMe 13
Um, 65-she wasn't being 'braggy' in the slightest! She was stating that she was skinny, but still self conscious about her body. I was so skinny in highschool, I had no boobs! Not always a good thing.. I get it, chica :)
MisterMichael 9
yeah yeah blame it on society
darkangel4700 0
like me -.-
Nyankat5 0
very true and like me too
keyofdestiny13 24
No where in the FML did it say OP's girlfriend thought she was fat. It said "self conscious." You can be self conscious about other things on your body aside from fat or lack thereof.
barlessprison 16
Poor girl's going to be 10 times more self conscious now that you've announced this to a bunch of strangers over the Internet.
smurfsarwales 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
umm? maybe she doesn't know about it? even if she was an fml user, she wouldn't know it it was her boyfriend posting. and if he did, she would realize it was a stupid idea, not that she is fat. the bf never said she was fat, just that she thought she was.
SirHobnobs 0
But that still doesn't justify him posting it here
my_fml_account 2
She wouldn't know it was her boyfriend? How many people do you think act this crazy? It's pretty much just OPs girlfriend.
bingababe 16
44 I'm guessing that if she is an FML user and did read this, she'd definitely know it was her boyfriend. I mean there can't be that many girls cutting holes out of bathing suits to facilitate sex......
DjeePee 24
I hope you refused it, OP. I don't think it's a very good idea to have sex with someone who is afraid of her own body. She absolutely needs to love and respect herself, otherwise you'll both will get frustrated (you because you'll never will see her naked, she because she thinks (you think) she's ugly). This is not a good start for a healthy (sex) life. But boy, she has some serious issues.
annababyyy 0
coming from a girl with a mask on?
DjeePee 24
Coming from a girl without a real picture?
smurfsarwales 9
43raped 22. and also 43 probably doesn't always where the mask, its not like she's to self conscious of her face to take it off?
awickedsomething 0
Well, that was off topic. -_-
SeedlessMe 13
You realize it's a profile picture, right? Doubtful she walks around with the mask on 24/7...
xXshadowrollerXx 6
11 - Usually, I like your posts, and I like this one as well, but I think it's best to admit defeat.
DjeePee 24
Defeat? Why? We're not in a war, aren't we? The only thing I like to know is why I 'failed'. I honestly can't see it.
tsume24 3
djeepee, you had really good points and I totally agree. OP should learn how to make his girlfriend feel like the sexiest girl in the world, especially if she's got self-image and confidence issues. btw I like your picture so everyone else can stfu.
Alex94xela 0
I like the gas mask it looks cool. where'd u get it from?
cradle6 13
Damn, people are ignorant about this kinda thing. 11 is right, they are some serious issues with this girl. 99% of the girls I've dated or even just knew were insecure and self conscious but this FML is just a new level of insanity. OP, I think maybe the best option is to back off from this girl. She needs space, and needs to learn to love herself. This is definitely a sign of something much deeper.
vistamar 3
haha im waiting for some girl to call 175 "cute." I swear every comment i see with him theres always that one girl that comments that hahaha. Its hilarious.
cradle6 13
199, haha I think you're confusing me with someone else. I don't seem to remember that happening at all on this site.
zinjiitsdanaa 3
175 you're cute.
Proudmary 2
Eh, she'll get over it in time. If this is one of them long-term relationships, obviously. It will take her a while and will involve lots of lovin with the lights off...but sure enough at one point she will get over it.
mima77 0
You better tell her!
8313girl 28
Being self conscious is one thing but this is taking it too far. Besides there are ways around an extra curvy body like corsets, thigh highs and garter belts. Make it sexy girls! Don't make it weird.