Love: Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist".... - FML

By not my bf anymore - United States

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22509

You deserved it

7516

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Where are you?

Persona non grata

By tortured - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45152

You deserved it

4562

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44942

You deserved it

5079

Tweet

Share

By Crissylove10 - United States

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13085

You deserved it

42901

Tweet

Share

By bitchasshonky - France

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37848

You deserved it

5534

Tweet

Share

By Elizabeth Ann

Today, I was at work for almost two hours today before realizing I had marinara sauce on my face. My coworkers didn’t say anything because I’m really clumsy and they figured it was blood, and therefore not unusual. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1704

You deserved it

280

Tweet

Share

By lil_munchkinjen - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34369

You deserved it

5893

Tweet

Share

By ChoirGuy - United States

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31591

You deserved it

4358

Tweet

Share

By nkotz - United States

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40950

You deserved it

7276

Tweet

Share

By UnknownKitten - United States - Elgin

Today, I returned home after a long day of work. I noticed that my kitten had gotten a hold of my pin cushion, and that there were no needles left in it. My husband and I have only managed to find one, out of 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13138

You deserved it

2018

Tweet

Share

By noname - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32401

You deserved it

2494

Tweet

Share

By CancerFdMyLife - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40039

You deserved it

3477

Tweet

Share

By notacashier - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39571

You deserved it

28380

Tweet

Share

By E

Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9347

You deserved it

771

Tweet

Share

By Sleepless in Juneau - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my housemate's cat began meowing at 2:15am. After about 10 minutes of continuous caterwauling, it finally shut up. Almost immediately afterwards, a car with thumping bass music pulled up to idle in the street right outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2541

You deserved it

205

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother thought he would take my key and steal my shoes from my football locker while I was at practice. What he didn't think about was him leaving my locker unlocked for the 3 hours of practice. Someone stole my iPod, my cell phone, my wallet, and all of my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47067

You deserved it

2828

Tweet

Share

By me - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28355

You deserved it

2684

Tweet

Share

By Pisspants - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks

10062

You deserved it

2787

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/6/2020 17:00

Inappropriate crush

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1317

You deserved it

313

Tweet

Share

By callie - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37811

You deserved it

6613

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34833

You deserved it

9916

Tweet

Share

By well scrooge you too - United States - North Myrtle Beach

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered "goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20549

You deserved it

1807

Tweet

Share

By mainey92 - United States

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32011

You deserved it

4476

Tweet

Share

By MWT77 - United States - Chicago

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1782

You deserved it

80

Tweet

Share

By SchwesterGrimm

Today, a man sat next to me on a train carriage, despite various empty seats. During a weird conversation, I told him that I'm on my way back from London after seeing a friend from Germany there. He goes on to talk about Nazis and, with one arm in the air, asks me if he's doing the salute right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13256

You deserved it

943

Tweet

Share

By ihatelaura - United States

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32042

You deserved it

5589

Tweet

Share

By ihateguys - United States - San Francisco

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40856

You deserved it

3982

Tweet

Share

By Crushed

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip, just so that she wouldn't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1518

You deserved it

271

Tweet

Share

By freshman - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10141

You deserved it

59973

Tweet

Share

By Confused - 23/9/2020 17:01 - Australia - Perth

Suspicious

Today, I texted my boyfriend, asking him to meet me when he finished work. Paranoid as he is, he took this to mean that I wanted to break up with him, and is ghosting me into oblivion. All I wanted was to see him on our 4-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1111

You deserved it

136

Tweet

Share

By la poisse - France

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34930

You deserved it

3489

Tweet

Share

By cwell88

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28633

You deserved it

1763

Tweet

Share

By Sylvania - United States

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77538

You deserved it

5555

Tweet

Share

By MileHighGirlGuy

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

I agree, your life sucks

6124

You deserved it

612

Tweet

Share

By botharebad - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31328

You deserved it

3232

Tweet

Share

By last night king

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

916

You deserved it

2790

Tweet

Share

By Joshua Diamond - 14/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Ed Sheeran-lite

Today, I phoned my ex, who I only broke up with a week ago. I then told her about the song I'd written about her. I have written a song, but it is shite and I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to play it to her. I’ll have to play it to her and confess my simpy, wet ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks

166

You deserved it

1607

Tweet

Share

By fedUPwithPEOPLE - United States - Enterprise

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45374

You deserved it

3207

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30702

You deserved it

7797

Tweet

Share

By sarah6786 - United States - Schenectady

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47536

You deserved it

4832

Tweet

Share

By constantine - United States

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8532

You deserved it

36023

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By sbrideau | 14

#6454910 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

Well with today's double standards...

By WHTrunner | 4

#6454907 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:29

We need a voice.

COMMENTS

By WHTrunner | 4

#6454907 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:29

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By Lyndria | 15

#6454909 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

Judging by your user name and the fact you dumped him, I take it you are a third wave neo-feminist man hater?

By sbrideau | 14

#6454910 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By gosh_mate | 30

#6454911 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By bigmusclebro | 20

#6454912 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

Screw men! They're just a bunch of anti-women, socialist, Marxist, communist, inhumane peasants who deserve to be euthanized after giving women their seed!

By DeathofCareBear | 21

#6454913 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By J352SAURUS | 30

#6454920 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:35

Why is he not your boyfriend anymore? Wow.

By suckceed | 17

#6454923 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:36

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By nash1991 | 20

#6454924 - Friday 6 November 2015 7:37

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By Ciela | 22

#7480261 - Wednesday 5 July 2017 17:52

I don't see the problem