Love: Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist".... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 105

Spicy

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 279

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 123

05/11/2015 21:15

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 527

You deserved it 7 524

Late term

Age difference

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eatings a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 109

12/11/2009 06:27

Spicy

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 613

You deserved it 10 368

20/04/2014 04:03

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 196

You deserved it 5 033

10/08/2013 04:41

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 655

You deserved it 6 861

18/02/2009 20:35

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 223

You deserved it 6 023

23/05/2013 17:48

Spicy

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 477

You deserved it 3 415

03/10/2012 23:00

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 8 227

27/07/2016 06:43

Today, on my holiday in Thailand I was using the ATM to withdraw $500 worth of Baht. While doing this the ATM crashed and decided to restart. After 5 minutes it spat my card out and nothing else. When I returned to the hotel to use the Wifi, the ATM had deducted the money from my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 551

You deserved it 1 911

Overruled

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 22:58

Today, I told my dogs to go to their dog beds. The small dog went onto the big one’s bed. The big dog went onto my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 210

19/12/2011 06:44

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 018

You deserved it 3 311

31/10/2009 04:14

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 535

You deserved it 2 880

16/10/2012 01:19

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 3 914

Food poisoning

By brown and sticky - 16/01/2020 14:00

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 187

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2013 22:50

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 649

You deserved it 2 471

Pentaxed

By sonja_n - 10/10/2019 23:00

Today, I lost my balance while crossing a creek and fell in. I had my camera on me at the time. It's fried, and I don't have the $2K I need to replace it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 518

12/01/2010 00:28

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 819

You deserved it 2 334

07/09/2009 05:04

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 483

You deserved it 2 554

24/08/2015 21:56

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 510

You deserved it 2 135

Non refundable

By honeymooner - 28/03/2012 10:47

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 429

You deserved it 2 612

Working in retail sucks

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 23:00

Today, a customer yelled at me because we didn't have any laptops in stock. I work at a clothing store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 96

Christmas is treacherous

By Jeremy - 20/12/2020 23:00

Today, I decided to take my girlfriend out to look at Christmas lights and get hot chocolate. While cleaning my snow-covered truck, I slipped and broke three bones in my ankle, and now need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 60

14/03/2012 14:38

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 244

You deserved it 2 578

05/02/2010 00:47

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 221

You deserved it 3 037

23/12/2016 17:25

Today, after having given up video games for two weeks to focus on school, I finished my last exam of the semester and finally became free. I got home to find that Steam is down worldwide. I just received an email saying every game on my wish list is on sale, but I can't log in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 190

You deserved it 790

20/05/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the electricity company can just show up unannounced and cut off my power, but cannot find the meter for a whole 10 days to switch it on again. It's currently dark and 7°C in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 946

You deserved it 454

10/01/2010 17:17

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 084

You deserved it 3 249

17/01/2014 03:42

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 450

You deserved it 4 635

14/02/2011 18:51

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 12 908

23/01/2016 11:26

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 944

You deserved it 2 275

09/02/2011 15:01

Spicy

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 790

You deserved it 3 335

26/12/2011 15:32

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 4 592

Jesus freak

By Max Flynn - 20/05/2011 10:07

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 320

You deserved it 15 688

30/07/2011 14:07

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 657

You deserved it 4 006

15/05/2012 08:08

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 095

You deserved it 2 829

13/01/2010 06:31

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 572

You deserved it 50 819

19/11/2010 16:54

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 730

You deserved it 34 973

Women shouldn't fart?

By single again - 06/04/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, I slept in the same room as my girlfriend for the first time. She is sweet, smart, and drop-dead gorgeous, so naturally I thought she was going to be the one. Until she farted in her sleep. 56 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 2 856

11/12/2010 14:44

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 432

You deserved it 70 675

Honest mistake

By Luke - 19/03/2013 09:59

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 211

You deserved it 29 793

26/04/2016 00:00

Today, I had a throbbing cluster headache. It didn't help matters when an angry customer yelled at me because a dress was "defective." Why was it defective? It didn't fit her. Why didn't it fit her? It was the wrong size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 858

You deserved it 846

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

Well with today's double standards...

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:29

We need a voice.

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:29

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

Judging by your user name and the fact you dumped him, I take it you are a third wave neo-feminist man hater?

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:31

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

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bigmusclebro 20

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

Screw men! They're just a bunch of anti-women, socialist, Marxist, communist, inhumane peasants who deserve to be euthanized after giving women their seed!

DeathofCareBear 21

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:32

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:35

Why is he not your boyfriend anymore? Wow.

Friday 6 November 2015 7:36

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Friday 6 November 2015 7:37

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Ciela 22

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Wednesday 5 July 2017 17:52

I don't see the problem