By TJ - 06/04/2012 11:10 - United Kingdom - Redhill

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 141
You deserved it 10 358

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Remove the underwear. No more wedgie! Solving problems one at a time.

You know, there's this magical thing called sleeping, and it's commonly done in a bed. But that doesn't matter, because if you're in bed with someone, it's all about sex, right?

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Remove the underwear. No more wedgie! Solving problems one at a time.

Good ole handy... A man can only dream...

16- I think a mustache ride from elbow would tickle my fancy a little more ;) *view his user picture*

Is rape an option at this point?

Guess its back to long nights with Jill

Poor you.... Was it really necessary to write an fml about this?

2 - Was your comment about this FML mecessary? No. Neither was mine.

Guess its just you and me again today pal (lifts hand)

This is a bit random, but has anyone noticed a depressing lack of Enonymous' comments?

No reason to qq, just ask her to do it while she is down there! Get some imitative mang

Pulling out a wedgie. Much less sexy than a hand job

Watching a girl pull out a wedgie can still be sexy.. Don't act like you wouldn't wish to transform yourself into a thong/G-string. I would.

Ok 78 but Ill still take the hand job

Wtf is a google?

It's a comforter I'm from the US and I call my blanket a duvet.

It's the way the British spell "dove". In the UK doves are actually similar in size to large bears so they are hunted and turned into bedding.

That's strange, I always thought they were a type of salad topping. The more you know...

52 - Erm, what? A duvet is a quilt, or bedclothes. Brits spell 'dove' exactly the same.

59, that went over you head, huh?

You, my friend, are a moron

I love it when someone asks a question, and everybody gives the wrong answer.

Tell her you'll pick hers if she picks yours

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You know, there's this magical thing called sleeping, and it's commonly done in a bed. But that doesn't matter, because if you're in bed with someone, it's all about sex, right?

Reading this while watching Harry Potter really makes it sound like something Harry Potter could say.

I don't think #9 is older than thirteen or fourteen... Such an idiotic comment.

What the hell is a duvet or whatever it was you called it? Since you said that y'all were layin' in bed, I'm gonna assume it's sheets or somethin'. But next time, how 'bout usin' a word that everyone knows

Duvet is a pretty common word. If you don't understand something next time, just google it; don't complain here

I read the in an extremely southern accent, I'm thinking you must have written it that way as well. Most people know what a duvet is anyway.

I hate Americans who think that just because they don't know what a word means, it's not English. People say "duvet" in Canada, Australia and the UK. So fucking google it already.

A duvet is what we call a comforter here in the US. Google is our friend! :)

Um, so 18, you only hate Americans for showing ignorance? I didn't realize other countries were immune to it.

65 - No, he was said he "hate[s] Americans who think that just because they don't know what a word means, it's not English." Yes, it's almost always an American who doesn't know what a "fancy" word is, such as duvet. So don't be getting butthurt over a fact. Also, the fact that #10 is a Texas redneck (username), adds to the proof that he is ignorant and/or completely stupid.

I'm also from Texas and have never heard of a duvet...

People use it in the US too... We just have a lot of morons who aren't willing to look up word that are new to them.

Man I'm Canadian and I never heard of a duvet lol people call them blankets or quilts

I must be the only one thinking 10 is some type of troll, because every redneck I've met would never type like that.

Christ Almighty this guy's username suits him aptly. Please, for the sake of all humanity, don't reproduce.

Oh my God people. Seriously. I'm from Texas and I've heard of a duvet. Don't use Texas as an excuse.

Or how about you learn all the words we all obviously know or u can just shut up and commenting

14- I hope you're saying you read it in a southern accent because he's from Texas, not just because he's ignorant. Thinking everyone from the South is stupid is just as bad as not knowing words of other English dialects. It's all ignorance.

Other countries aren't immune, they're just not ignorant enough to speak before opening their mouth. I am an American high school student and I see this every day. That said, 18, calm down you probably don't know of any real life Americans. I've been to Canada and it rocked so much harder than the US but there's no need to brag. And we've got enough morons with guns and enough money in the nuclear weapons programs here to tell you not to go calling names to Americans.

114- actually I use to live in Los Angeles for 3 years, where I went to school, and I've been to pretty much every major USA city, where we've got tons of friends. Just saying :)

next time, how 'bout puttin' in the effort to finish ya'll words, bud.

may I only point out that it was us that gave you people the language so how about not slagging off your motherhood, eh?

Lol I'm from the US and I never have heard or seen this word but I got excited because it's used in the UK. Love the UK.

Lmao very true!

Everyone who is literate knows what a duvet is...

I think the real "FML" was that he was actually excited for a handjob!

I was thinking the same thing!

Whats wrong with handjobs?

Hey, it's not because you never got a pleasurable handjob that you need to project your disatisfaction on others.

Nothing, especially if a blowjob follows.

I just think OP is a douche with an awesome girlfriend

45 I think it meant that its odd that seeing a hand go under the covers he automatically assumed shes about to instigate that. My junk must get really disappointed a lot, I often put my hand under the covers and not touch it.

*wife slips hand under duvet* Op: Yes! Finally- Wife: Stupid underwear.. Hey do you think I need a bigger size?

OP doesn't have a wife (I hope). Said person is his girlfriend ;)

Maybe OP's Girlfriend is sincerelyjay's Wife. Bet you never thought of that, eh? :)

Duvet? That a British thing?

Oh whoopsie! *girlfriend

I'm sure if you started, she would help you finish :) Just tell her to wash her nasty fecal-infested, wedgie-picking hand.

Yes, yes we do. Gotta keep it clean :D