The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

By ClaireWinchester - 02/09/2013 00:47 - United States - Half Moon Bay

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 971

You deserved it 10 281

ClaireWinchester tells us more.

ClaireWinchester 17

Monday 2 September 2013 22:50

Hey guys, OP here (: I was so excited to hear that this got published!! Thank you for all your feedback, even the ones saying I deserved what happened. I believe due explanations are in order. First of all: I wasn't the one who lit the Cheetos on fire, that was courtesy of my older brother. He saw a post on iFunny saying that Cheetos are flammable, so, naturally he felt the need to see which flavor of Cheetos burned the fastest. He then he ran into my room to show me his discovery, waving a flaming Cheeto around proudly. I'm assuming you can guess what happened next.

By Headache - 01/03/2013 13:20 - United States

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 970

You deserved it 4 808

By MattVh - 12/01/2010 17:23 - Belgium

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 969

You deserved it 2 470

By bthms - 31/01/2010 14:46 - France

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 969

You deserved it 3 462

By BonGoWash - 07/02/2013 14:45 - United States - Bronxville

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 968

You deserved it 5 721

Pooped out

By jmitch1209 - 28/01/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 967

You deserved it 3 876

By MisterSeth - 17/06/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 79 800

By Mommycakes - 03/03/2015 13:14 - United States - Apache Junction

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 2 925

Mommycakes tells us more.

Mommycakes 2

Saturday 7 March 2015 5:19

Just a quick reassurance, Tyler is my other son. Thanks for the support!

By zlotytarasy - 14/10/2009 22:03 - Poland

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 3 543

By WoWWidow - 02/09/2011 08:02 - United States

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 964

You deserved it 4 447

Compacted

By RatFailure - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 3 864

By BYUwildchild - 17/12/2010 16:23 - United States

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 962

You deserved it 3 536

By MetalAtlas - 02/03/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 959

You deserved it 5 046

metalatlas tells us more.

metalatlas 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 8:03

being the OP i thought i'd elaborate- my gf is bi-polar so she can't help things like that- it was an ex that i no longer care about which is all f them and i spent the day buying her stuff because she saw little things she liked and i like buying her things and making her happy. were still dating and doing just fine i just thought this one incident was fml worthy

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 959

You deserved it 7 023

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 08:40 - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 959

You deserved it 2 508

By WhatdyaDo - 16/03/2009 09:55 - Canada

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 69 376

By Discouraged - 31/05/2012 12:43 - United States - Rockville

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 2 659

By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 19:54 - United States - Exton

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 3 641

Protip

By Tipless - 07/11/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 956

You deserved it 2 481

By Unlucky - 15/11/2014 02:18 - Australia - Cairns

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 955

You deserved it 3 039

Dat ass

By Chamorru - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I have so much ass acne that it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 6 393

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 3 130

By aprilmay91 - 11/03/2012 12:38 - United States

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 4 020

aprilmay91 tells us more.

aprilmay91 0

Monday 12 March 2012 13:30

We have a step stool but it broken and the last time I used it i fell and twisted my ankle and bruised my arm.

By imafunguy - 05/10/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 3 094

By iGagged - 01/06/2015 12:22 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 2 210

iGagged tells us more.

iGagged 4

Tuesday 2 June 2015 19:15

Hi everyone, OP here ! Made an account just to follow up. 1) No, sadly he didn't suspect a thing and didn't bother taking a close look at his earphones. 2) It was awkward indeed. Very, very awkward. He was nice though, he apologised and immediately left. Hopefully he'll check his earphones next time. And thank you for commenting on my username haha !

By insignificant - 29/10/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 3 350