Dat ass

By Chamorru - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I have so much ass acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 920
You deserved it 6 381

Top comments

I think you need to see a dermatologist

Take a long, long shower. Everyday. Point the water at your but.


flipcrazy 0

Your well thought out, amazing first comment shows a huge amount of intelligence. It will inspire and motivate other commenters for years to come. Thank you, PattiePie. Thank you.

siickman 7

Well i mean i had the same reaction as pattie but no need to comment it. :p

Well, don't leave me hanging! I'm sure there is supposed to be a nice, captivating paragraph after the dots, right? Right?

I believe Pattie was displaying the pattern of acne across OP's arse. That or it was a horrible, pathetic attempt at 'FIRST!'. One of the two.

Take a long, long shower. Everyday. Point the water at your but.

Also, in the future, the OP may want to reconsider before he bleaches his anus again.

proactive sucks, just soap iy with dove men+care works for your face too

Sounds like someone is a little butthurt

silbot 11

Ask your doctor about accutane, it basically gets rid of your acne for good after 4-6 months. The side effects suck, but imo it's worth it

I used to have a similar issue when I played football and baseball the compressions shorts were actually causing the problem. Fix for me was wearing gym shorts and letting that ass skin breathe! Of course it never hurt to sit I just had some assne.

I think you need to see a dermatologist

I've got cystic acne on my entire body. The only thing the the derm is going to do is antibiotics, which the acne infection is hyper adaptive to antibiotics, and acutane. Acutane has MAJOR negative side affects. Increased depression, increased suiside risk. Etc. just lay off the milk, sugar, and eat more veggies. Then if you can get some athletes foot cream. Acne is a fungus. Also! Take some airborne to build your immune system.


#37 why would any supply antibiotics to treat a fungi infection?

slimjim8094 12

Acne is NOT a fungus, it's a bacteria. Hence antibiotics. And Airborne is nonsense snakeoil. I don't know anything about Acutane but anyone reading this should check those side effects before taking 37's word for it.

Folfg - Acne is a fungus? What the **** have you been reading?? Acne is NOT a fungus, it's a chronic bacterial infection of clogged sebaceous glands. Airborne is bullshit, and vegetables will help you shit but will NOT help acne. Accutaine might, but it does have potential side effects. For ****'s sake, don't dispense medical advice if you don't know what the **** you're talking about. Please leave that to the medical professionals.

Omg your sponge bob dp is hilarious! I believe why studies show that accutaine cause depression is the fact your acne is so effing bad it hurts to sit and usually this kind of acne only occurs when in your teen years highschool sucks when you have acne! Kids are assholes.

ee13lbp 4

I'm taking accutane now and personally I can't say I'm worried about depression. I'm more worried about the physical problems the drug causes like Crohn's disease or eye problems

DocBastard, every website needs a few of you to keep the idiots dispensing false medical advice in line. Please train a small army of hilarious, intelligent doctors and make the Internet a better place. I offer pay in tacos and/or cookies.

I took accutane. The only symptom I had was dry skin and chapped lips. There is a chance for depression, but they monitor that closely while you are on it and ask about your symptoms every month or so, so that they can take you off of it if you are getting mood swings or other serious things. It does work, I had to take it because the antibiotics were giving me acid reflux, and now I don't have to take anything :)

Doc bastard. NORMAL ACNE is NOT a fungus. MY CYSTIC ACNE note CYSTIC!!!! Acne is fed by a fungal infection. What the **** have I been reading? Um.... About 20 doctors, 3 derms and 5 naturopaths. Cystic acne is a wild creature cause by different things for different people. Pimples are caused by oils blocking your pores. Mine had gotten infected by a FUNGAL INFECTION. Trust me. I had a hole in my chest when the scab came off I could see blood flowing over muscles. Have you ever seen a doctor flinch when you show them something like that? IHAVE THEN THE INFECTION WENT SEPTIC.

Also, dermatologists can't fix cystic acne. They can't cure it. And do PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Do your own research. Don't take my word, don't take bastards word for it read it! And airborne is about as much a snake oil as vitamin c is. Or are vitamins also not real and don't help. If you think that, then try living of Mc Donald's for a week. Email me if you want to talk about cystic acne. I'm writing a book with sources okay. Professional sources.

131, then that is not normal cystic acne. "Mine had gotten infected by a fungal infection". So yes, maybe YOU have some sort of crazy fungus problem in YOUR acne, but normal cystic acne has nothing to do with fungus. I myself have gotten many cystic pimples, none of which made me see any blood flowing over my muscles. You are a very different case than most people, so please do not give advice to anyone who isn't having the same medical problem as you.

131- You still fail! I looked it up, there are cases of an overgrowth of candida (a natural fungus on your body) increasing outbreaks of bacterial acne on your body. That is not even close to what you said, acne being a fungus.

lelo007 11

That random capslock reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Peter's boss comes over, and he has that condition where he can't control the level of his voice when he gets nervous. Go ahead, read that in Peter's voice. Too funny.. At least to me!

37 - No matter how hard you try to make a save, you still (direct quote) said "Acne is a fungus". Not cystic acne. Not your specific acne. Acne. On top of that, even if you weren't scraping to keep some credibility, you're still giving advice for a specific acne that he never said he had. You don't have to be a doctor or writing a book on it to know that isn't a good idea, and it won't solve the problem if he just has regular acne (Which is much more likely)

Eating right does help and can help prevent acne. Eating healthy makes a big difference in the way your body works. It can affect how oily your hair is and eating lots of sugars can cause acne problems. I'm not saying to not take medications for acne problems, but try some changes to your diet as well. Cotton underwear can help your ass breathe more if you're wearing tight or spandex underwear. Please be careful when taking prescription medications though. Know what you're getting into ahead of time.

131- hmm for some WILD CRAZY REASON, i believe DocBastard. Wait, you might not understand sarcasm.. YOU ARE FULL OF BULLSHIT.

One thing, veggies DO help a bit but not enough to conpletely eradicate your pimples. Like drinking and eating healtgy foods. Laying off the chocolate or fatty, oily foods do help. A bit.

Thank god i have never had the chance to experience this...fyl op

thejewishfuhrer 17

Sounds like a definite pain in the ass, that's for sure.

LOL bust 'em all or play connect the dots, the big dipper scooping your shit hahah

yepadoodles 3

What the absolute **** did I just read?

florido_fml 10

That's a sign that you don't wash your ass

"Myth #1: Acne is caused by poor hygiene. If you believe this myth, and wash your skin hard and frequently, you can actually make your acne worse. Acne is not caused by dirt or surface skin oils. Although excess oils, dead skin and a day's accumulation of dust on the skin looks unsightly, they should not be removed by hand scrubbing. Vigorous washing and scrubbing will actually irritate the skin and make acne worse." - Acne net I'm a compulsive groomer (twice daily showers, frequent hand and face washing, etc) and I have horrific acne. While hygiene can play a small part in acne, most physicians agree that the number one factor relating to frequency and intensity is hormones.

Evil platypus, email me. I have the same issue but! I beat my acne at age 18. I'm not joking! Email me at [email protected] I'll send you pictures and proof. It's amazing.

42 - Thank you, but no thank you. It doesn't cause me any physical/emotional/social distress and doesn't affect my health, so why change it? I'm happy with who I am and what I look like. It took me years to be able to say that and I'd rather not go back to the never-ending battle of trying to perfect my appearance.

I'm a rather clean person and my acne is moderate, it's all hormones and biology

biglittlehead 12

I find that Acne Free works so much better than Proactive.

KaeporaGaebora 4

That sucks. If its really bad, you can get a prescription for tetralysal or something. My friend had bad face acne and that stuff knocked it all out in like a week.

I think this is the nastiest comment you have ever made...Nasty Noor coming to your door!