Miscellaneous: Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same...

By Anonymous - 05/05/2015 19:54 - United States - Exton

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 3 611

Miscellaneous

Mother of the year

This Charming Man

Hiding from the drama

By Anonymous - 18/06/2012 01:55 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 286

You deserved it 2 285

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 629

You deserved it 3 062

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 957

You deserved it 7 709

By Anonymous - 08/02/2014 18:49 - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 649

You deserved it 11 026

Noise annoys

By Mystic - 04/09/2021 00:01 - United States - Denver

Today, it’s the fifth day in a row that my mom has vacuumed right outside my room, from 5 to 11 AM. Despite this, I still can’t fall asleep before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 86

By VladyBoi - 01/11/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 194

You deserved it 5 714

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:55 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 756

You deserved it 3 577

By SSS - 14/02/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 207

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 905

You deserved it 4 165

By Anonymous - 20/02/2014 10:01 - United Kingdom - Great Malvern

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 801

You deserved it 4 998

By jayscalaro - 21/04/2019 20:00

Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 958

By anonymous - 30/06/2017 15:34

Today, it seems that getting an apartment with a couple was a bad idea. They agree on everything, so my opinion never seems to matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 887

By Evra - 23/01/2015 07:39 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 5 568

Kinda deserved it

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 14:02

Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 451

By Waste Someone Else's Time - 28/06/2015 05:06 - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 751

You deserved it 2 578

By DesDri - 20/06/2009 07:37 - Canada

Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 4 922

By gbhlaughingstock - 18/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 022

You deserved it 9 723

By bill - 28/11/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 763

You deserved it 2 344

By armybrat - 10/07/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 487

You deserved it 59 785

By ugly - 25/07/2011 02:53 - United States

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 3 747

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I decided to sleep in for 5 extra minutes. Those 5 extra minutes became 55 minutes, which, coincidentally, was roughly the length of the midterm I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 589

You deserved it 35 706

By katsaysner - 17/10/2014 17:56 - United States - Unity

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 791

You deserved it 4 683

By Anonymous - 30/04/2016 01:09 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no-one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 966

You deserved it 2 441

By quasimodo - 22/02/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 6 796

By furious parent - 03/07/2019 18:00

Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 18:25 - United States - Unionville

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 017

You deserved it 38 520

By "levsterx" - 05/04/2017 02:00

Today, my mom dragged me along with her to a baby shower. I was the only guy there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 519

You deserved it 596

Science teacher

By Anonymous - 13/01/2020 18:00

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 222

By B-377 - 23/10/2018 11:30 - United States - Sarver

Today, I was walking around my block when a random stranger pulled up next to me. He assumed I was a woman, and started catcalling me. I'm a 34-year-old man with a wife and kids, and my hair isn't even long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 228

By forgotten - 21/09/2010 22:16 - United States

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 7 407

By awkwardpineapples - 08/01/2015 03:13 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 2 613

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 103

By feelthesting - 06/07/2015 22:26 - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 548

You deserved it 1 837

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 456

You deserved it 729

By John - 07/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 591

You deserved it 6 322

By IDPlease - 07/12/2018 03:00

Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year old man and his 40 year old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 872

You deserved it 173

By thewrittenrebel - 28/10/2014 07:40 - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 5 859

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 12:06 - Netherlands

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 340

You deserved it 19 689

By Mexican - 19/06/2016 03:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 376

You deserved it 1 477

By distressed - 05/11/2010 23:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 429

You deserved it 4 071

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Top comments

raysmith121 10

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:44

Poop in the living room. I bet they'll notice that

jpsullivan 36

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:42

Stop taking showers, see how long it takes them to notice that.

jpsullivan 36

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:42

Stop taking showers, see how long it takes them to notice that.

TheBelt 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 13:40

Or turn off the WiFi see how long it takes them to notice.

iMuffinKat 16

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Monday 4 July 2016 3:27

...maybe they noticed but just don't care? Idk, but just putting that out there.

skellingtonfart 18

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:43

Just stopping washing the outfit too, they'll soon notice you, Stinky.

ghostriley 14

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 21:21

Actually not really I haven't washed me jeans in 3 years and no one had ever noticed

skellingtonfart 18

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Thursday 7 May 2015 7:44

Lmao, sicko.

raysmith121 10

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:44

Poop in the living room. I bet they'll notice that

ZombieVampirez 24

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 17:04

Make sure you look them straight in the face when you do it.

kellyem2 20

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 19:07

Well that escalated quickly.

thatADHDdude 21

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Thursday 7 May 2015 6:53

TED- There is a SHIT on the FLOOR!

Trinidad727 9

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:46

You might want to just count it as a loss and wash up.

Pyneapple 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:47

I value my personal hygiene too much to do that, but that's just me. Do you.

unscrupulous 13

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 17:11

There are washing machines, you know.

dotdotdotslash 8

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 23:23

For all you know they could be talking about Jeans and a hoodie. if you wear a different shirt under the jumper it wouldn't smell and most jeans wouldn't be noticeably different if he/she planned them to look similar. or you know they probably have a washer...

Enslaved 36

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:48

Go naked and see if they notice.

starile 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 15:51

THERE ya go! This is why they pay you the big bucks, #6.

Unixxxion 22

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:49

travel to Europe and back for a week and myabe they might pay attention... so sad to hear OP

Destinee_1 13

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:56

Start inviting random friends over and see if they notice

Paras_800 27

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:57

Take all of there savings and buy a house and move out. I have a slight felling they will notice you then.

starile 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 15:53

It'll just prove they care more about their money than their child. Which is probably already true.

socialproduct 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 8:57

I'll often not acknowledge when someone wears the same outfit just out of courtesy.

starile 19

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Wednesday 6 May 2015 16:10

Yeah, it's probably not that they haven't noticed, but simply that they haven't said anything and think OP's going through a phase. BTW, anyone else think that maybe OP is the type to just mostly hang around in their room all day and be the one who's not spending time with their parents?