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The all-time greatest FMLs

How Thoughtful

By Anonymous - 20/08/2018 14:30 - United States - Brick

Today, I found out that my new serving job does in fact take the time out to write a check for $0.00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 181

Bastard child

By Anonymous - 22/01/2022 11:01

Today, my scumbag son proposed to his sweetheart girlfriend with an engagement ring he stole off his sister's finger while she was in hospital unconscious after an epileptic fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 218

By LeoCor - 27/08/2018 20:30

Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 128

Nice.

By crunch time - 02/01/2018 01:30 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 6 698

By maisumepg - 17/02/2019 04:00

Today, it’s the third month of my diet. Every dream I’ve had since I started has been entirely about junk food. Every. Single. One. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 313

Death Grips

By Anonymous - 03/03/2020 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 124

You deserved it 412

By forgetable - 28/04/2019 02:00

Today, I offered to stay late at my delivery job because it was snowing and several people called out. An hour later I got rear ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 124

You deserved it 442

The future is bleak

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 10:00

Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 124

You deserved it 325

So many questions

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 13:59

Today, I work at the DMV. My ex-husband’s sister came in for a last name change. When I looked at the marriage license and her other documents, it was revealed that she was never his sister. My ex-husband is now her husband. Now I understand why they always spent time alone together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 138

By UpAllNight - 09/02/2019 12:00 - Palestinian Territory

Today, I had to sleep at my in-laws' house. My in-laws' bedroom is directly above the one we’re sleeping in. For the last 20 minutes, all I can hear is the bed going, “Thud, thud, thud.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 309

Nutters Inc.

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 17:00

Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 185

Anger management

By stumpy - 31/07/2019 18:00

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 206

By Salzburg - 06/05/2019 12:00

Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 200

Sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 287

By SSS - 14/02/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 239

Oh, hai Mark!

By Erika - 05/05/2019 14:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 462

By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00

Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 08/05/2019 23:00

Today, my husband argued that it's not cheating if he's using his brother's Facebook account to talk to other women, because they think it's him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 161

Serves no purpose

By I need cuddles - 26/08/2019 20:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend is physically affectionate with me is when he wants to have sex. When I suggested we just cuddle, he looked at me and said, "What’s the point in that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 370

Just love!

By Anonymous - 23/01/2020 18:00

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 545

After sleepover

By carriageway - 31/01/2020 01:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 199