Bro, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a girlfriend!

I'm sure the conversation was scintillating. Did she try to upsell you to a blowjob? "Yeah, the overhand grip is what the best Russian hookers use." "Is the lube warm enough?" "Faster? Slower?" "What are we going to do with this mess?"

$20 hookers are known to be excellent conversationalists

You know there are people who you can pay to chat with you, right? Besides psychologists, I mean. If you're lucky, there might even be a local service exchange bank, which is a place where people exchange services for other services e.g. I clean your mountain of dishes and you fix my computer. Of you could find a guy who walks humans like others walk pets. Those are great.

Yea, sure. Because everyone loves talking about their lives w/a complete stranger holding their dick.