Today, I paid a hooker for a handjob, not because I was horny but because I’m single with no friends or relatives, and still working from home. It’s been so long since I’ve had human contact outside of work emails, it was nice to be able to talk to a human being for a few minutes in person. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm considering working as an escort again, to get some human closeness, have interesting conversations and feel wanted and appreciated. I'm actually in a steady relationship; I guess it’s not a very good one. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I went to a chiropractor and got a membership just because I was desperate to be touched by a man after being single for 3 years. FML
Today, I really want to punch whoever says women have no problem getting laid. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another human, I actually considered hiring a male prostitute just so I can be in a man’s arms. FML
Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I dragged out a conversation with a lady who called to get me to make an appointment to give blood. FML
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML
Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
Today, a sex phone worker asked me if I was alright and recommended I get some kind of therapy. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
You know there are people who you can pay to chat with you, right? Besides psychologists, I mean. If you're lucky, there might even be a local service exchange bank, which is a place where people exchange services for other services e.g. I clean your mountain of dishes and you fix my computer. Of you could find a guy who walks humans like others walk pets. Those are great.
diraven 15
$20 hookers are known to be excellent conversationalists
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Comments (6)
And1 12
Bro, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a girlfriend!
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure the conversation was scintillating. Did she try to upsell you to a *******? "Yeah, the overhand grip is what the best Russian hookers use." "Is the lube warm enough?" "Faster? Slower?" "What are we going to do with this mess?"
diraven 15
$20 hookers are known to be excellent conversationalists
Yudith 28
You know there are people who you can pay to chat with you, right? Besides psychologists, I mean. If you're lucky, there might even be a local service exchange bank, which is a place where people exchange services for other services e.g. I clean your mountain of dishes and you fix my computer. Of you could find a guy who walks humans like others walk pets. Those are great.
RichardPencil 32
"A guy who walks humans?" Is that a thing? Do the walked humans have to provide their own leash and collar, or does he?
core01 30
Yea, sure. Because everyone loves talking about their lives w/a complete stranger holding their dick.