Love, Creepy and Stalker: Oh, hai Mark!

Oh, hai Mark!

By Erika - 05/05/2019 14:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 429

Love Creepy Stalker

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Self-bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 01/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 423

You deserved it 6 698

My mum is weird

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 16:00

Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 92

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 522

By BGood - 21/12/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 370

You deserved it 3 941

By sad - 05/11/2012 07:02 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 802

You deserved it 3 474

By YouWish - 25/08/2016 03:57 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 389

You deserved it 1 684

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 04:34 - United States - Thibodaux

Today, I watched my high school crush pull into the parking spot next to me, and then almost immediately he started backing out once he saw me parked next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 163

You deserved it 1 639

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 19:36 - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 231

You deserved it 10 547

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 300

You deserved it 150

Catch 22

By kattydoo07 - 29/04/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 776

You deserved it 4 214

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 May 2019 17:28

Da-da, dah, dah, dah! You’re lovin’ him! Your problems are far more serious than a pathological obsession with your ex-bf: you actually are drawn to the worst-tasting food in the fast-food industry!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 May 2019 17:51

Yes! Don’t think “stalker” — re-brand yourself as his “guardian angel.” Everyone needs a guardian angel.

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 5 May 2019 14:21

You should keep following him. That way, you'll get an opportunity to explain the situation sooner rather than later.

bloopaloop 27

Sunday 5 May 2019 16:26

Keep it up! He’ll appreciate that you always have his back.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 May 2019 17:51

Yes! Don’t think “stalker” — re-brand yourself as his “guardian angel.” Everyone needs a guardian angel.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 May 2019 17:28

MannyWasHere 12

Sunday 5 May 2019 22:47

Looks like he’s trying to eat his pain away too!!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 6 May 2019 3:51

Eating your feelings isn't going to help, but if you must do that, at least pick something other than McDonald's. Even their ice cream sucks.

Razell 13

Monday 6 May 2019 23:55

Don't bury your feelings under food, they can climb; don't drown your feelings with alcohol, they can swim. Go to the gym or buy a heavy bag and punch them. ... get someone to teach you how to punch properly so that you don't break your hand.