By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00

Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 072
You deserved it 179

Same thing different taste

Top comments

If I were you, I'd be pressing charges. Considering the fact that she basically assaulted you.

I once got accused of checking out a girl’s ass by my ex because I was looking straight forward pushing my shopping cart in line to leave at CostCo.

Comments

Follow her around for the rest of the day with your phone out, live streaming her arse for as many people as will watch. Tell her the only way to make you stop is to let you hit her back. Finally, show her your number of views is a grand total of zero, thus proving that all of her presumptuous, ego-fuelled violence was for naught because nobody is interested in her shit valve in the first place. Also, find out where she lives and tell the local Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons that she's interested, because it's always nice to go the extra mile.

Alup132 22

That’s kind of illegal...

If I were you, I'd be pressing charges. Considering the fact that she basically assaulted you.

Well, actually, she did basically assault him.

Oh wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen “hysterical” in modern times as used as it was originally in the 1800s until now. Props to you.

Why aren’t you staring at dat ass? I’d slap you for not staring!

"I wasn't staring at you. I was staring at the ground and your fat ass was in the way."

I once got accused of checking out a girl’s ass by my ex because I was looking straight forward pushing my shopping cart in line to leave at CostCo.

staring isn't a crime, assault is. press charges