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June 2016

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Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

by WrongPlaceWrongTime / 06/25/2016 at 2:51pm / France / Work

Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML

by ForeverAGirlfriend / 06/13/2016 at 12:40am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, someone finally came to fix my phone line after three weeks with no Internet. The engineer reconnected the phone line to the wrong apartment. I hope my neighbour is enjoying my unlimited broadband. FML

by caggybandicoot / 06/17/2016 at 10:37pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML.

by Xerfox / 06/20/2016 at 4:34pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML

by shecrieseverytimeIremindher / 06/07/2016 at 6:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was buried in texts from two of my bridesmaids about how much they hated their dresses. Dresses they helped pick. I can either be a bridezilla, put up with this for 4 more months, or ruin two friendships. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2016 at 3:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML

by sad / 06/17/2016 at 6:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired because my boss found out I had been looking for a new job. Then, I got a call from my only job prospect, saying I was overqualified and too young to work there as a waitress. FML

by unemployedaussie / 06/23/2016 at 8:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I'm filling in as a secretary. My only job is to answer the phone. So far the phone has rung three times: when I was in the bathroom, when I went to get the mail and when I was shredding papers where there is no phone. Everyone here thinks I am slacking off. FML

by im trying / 06/06/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

by meish / 06/05/2016 at 9:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML

by ChopSuey / 06/01/2016 at 12:02am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, after spending $850 on having our siding, roof and windows powerwashed, a 5-minute storm blew the siding clear off the house. FML

by caryl101698 / 06/08/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money