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October 2016

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Today, I called in about a job application I put in over a week ago. Apparently, the branch of the company that I applied to was never given my information, and the position was filled days ago. I've been checking the status of the position online daily, and it still says that it's open. FML

by PhantomKitty / 10/20/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I spent 2 hours organizing all of my coupons, just to leave out my room for 10 seconds to come back to my 2-year-old crumbling them up and ripping them. FML

by DezyCoCo / 10/01/2016 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, for the sixteenth consecutive time, I'm definitely not pregnant. Nope, I'm just super bitchy, and I like really weird food. FML

by Amie89 / 10/09/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

by macguy / 10/20/2016 at 10:25am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, I got to my internship early, did everything my bosses asked. At the end of the day, I was fired after 3 weeks of working unpaid overtime because they found an applicant with more experience for the job I applied to and they wanted to cut costs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 1:59pm / Singapore / Work

Today, I discovered that yes, you CAN forget how to ride a bike. Too bad I discovered this in front of all my son's friends and their parents while at his birthday party. FML

by faeliality / 10/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my toddler son walked up to my older daughter and kissed her chest, then said, "I kissed the boob." I have no idea where he learned that word. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I came home to find water dripping from the ceiling in my apartment laundry room/pantry. All of my groceries were ruined. Maintenance's suggestion? "Put a bucket under it." FML

by wetandhungry / 10/06/2016 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 7:12am / Australia (Tasmania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of nearly six months broke up with me. Over text. In a group chat. With the new girl he wanted to date. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2016 at 12:32am / Love

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

by paytonallyce / 10/02/2016 at 10:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I finally bought my first car after saving around £5000 and finding an absolute bargain that ticked all the boxes! Today was also the day of my first ever car accident, resulting in the car being written off by an uninsured driver. I had it less than 9 hours. FML

by One_Wheel_Wonder / 10/06/2016 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 9:17am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health