Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (3088)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (3087)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

#21402034
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (3087)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (3086)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (3086)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: