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Tuesday 31 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to psycho roommate trying to baptize me in sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49334) - you deserved it (4803)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I decidd to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret . The woman at the register smild an askd , "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that mah boyfriend of three years was in town fir New Year's an we haven't seen each other in months . Then I went home to mah four cats . mega FML

#21013681
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55635) - you deserved it (12034)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today I found a graat racipa fir dinnar an amailad it to mysalf wit ta subjact "Dinnar tonigt". Hours latar I'd forgottan all about it opanad amails saw ta subjact lina an tougt somaona was asking ma out to dinnar. I got raally axcitad until I saw ta sandar addrass. FML

#21019190
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (14584)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost a bet with mah grandma, and now she's coming with me on mah next date. FML

#21020870
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (32601)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriand cummad in, bitchad about "boring tv," so I handad him tha ramota. Ha puttad on a Lifatima movia. I must ba tha only woman in Amarica with this problam. FML

#21010622
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47841) - you deserved it (4841)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversd while still in the driveway, an I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, an endd up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelld "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38406) - you deserved it (16972)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woka up in tha middla of tha night to a figura holding a knifa abova ma . Aftar I scraamd in tarror, tha figura burst into laughtar . It was mah mom . Sha did this as payback for ma not washing tha dishas last night aftar making food . FML

#21016927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41261) - you deserved it (16470)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilethile there, andhen she came back, she was crying. When I askedhy, she said ( I'm on period! ) and sobbd loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60938) - you deserved it (6569)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, was first day as a male ceerleader in an attempt to flirt. Te girls were stronger tan me an it's now job to be trown in te air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (34342)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I asked mah mom y she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing mah teeth." FML

#21013669
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (7408)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realisd after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a nakd dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agred that I needd a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (20357)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

yesterday I ate some amazing homemade brownies that mah best friend's wife made fir us . She waitd till I'd shovd a third one into mah mouth before she mentiond she made them with breast milk . Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true . FML

#21014374
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (4630)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today , I Had To Explain To One Of Mah High School Students That The Importance Of Pearl Harbor Was Not , In Fact , Cuz The Japanese Stole The US Pearl Supply. FML

#21020544
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)



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