Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Seems like her boyfriend wasn't the only one getting milked.
Nederlander95 14
I guess he was just a real BULL in bed
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Comments (90)
kaitio331 17
That sucks
Nederlander95 14
I guess he was just a real BULL in bed
Ambient25 25
I knew her milkshake would bring all the boys to the yard
sarkaar 30
Maybe the excessive moaning was to bullshit him to an ego boost. :)
fuckyourlifeOP 25
All of these puns are udderly ridiculous.
IvyOswin 17
Could be worse, she could be yelping like a dog.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah that's right, milk all the cow puns for all they're worth.
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
Should have played "ol Mcdonald had a farm" on the loud speaker. Maybe next time the cheapo will spring for a hotel room.
6FootUnder 11
Ba-dum ts.
Nyx_fml 23
Seems like her boyfriend wasn't the only one getting milked.
cheshirecat13242 32
...and OP sat there, listening to the moo sounds... Weird, yes?
\ 28
A hypothesis: Perhaps OP's sister was trying to moan heavily while her partner's... "member" was jamming her throat... restricting the appropriate airflow needed to produce true moaning sounds, and instead releasing half-moans sounding akin to that of a cow's mooing.
Ambient25 25
Or just as likely they were playing Farmville and OP mistook the **** on his computer for their bed shaking
\ 28
I sincerely apologize for disgusting everyone with my hypothesis.
6FootUnder 11
Lmfao! best comment i've ever read, for that sir, I thank you.
mochikyu_ 14
I don't think I'll ever see a cow without giggling again...
Nunaetsuko 13
That's a little extreme, don't you think..
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Oh, it'd be fun if anyone who knew you in person read your comment. They could plaster your life with pictures of cows. In your car, in your mailbox, and real cows on car rides... "Hey look, it's a cow!" -- "Hehehe, a cow, hehehe!" ... ;)
CEOofFML 2
looks like a real milk festival
StanSmith2013 26
At least she isn't a screamer!
Ambient25 25
Is mooing any better?
little_one1 14
I think I would prefer the sound of a cow mooing to a woman screeching due to an ******. .-. Hey, that might just be me though!
Ambient25 25
Well that solved the mystery of the first person to discover that a cow lactating can also be nutritious....
laden_swallow09 35
Yes, I'd prefer mooing to screaming. Then I don't have to assume bloody murder every time the neighbors get a little too eager.
bleeping 5
Got milk?
kurodansei 16
Guess sis knows how to take the bull by the horn.
AyeJay101 25
I just.... I just can't. The mooooaning can't be that bad.
TheAlchemist22 9
why do I get the feeling that someones jealous...
whiskeey 14
Why on earth would he be jealous
AgentAvalos 7
Cuz his sister is getting some and his not.
notesz 21
Because op's a she.