Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

#21109576
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (22782)

On 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm - money - by BobRyder (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47864) - you deserved it (8628)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (4125)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21126521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (5194)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (4599)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43420) - you deserved it (13499)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (6083)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (3354)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37861) - you deserved it (10365)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35854) - you deserved it (12559)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (46264)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40908) - you deserved it (5645)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: