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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (16141)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (38341)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49055) - you deserved it (5346)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (5182)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43172) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45807) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57408) - you deserved it (3520)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42936) - you deserved it (3449)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)



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