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Lmao. OP here. I have had sex while my husband or myself being on the phone. It's just really embarrassing when it happens around other family members since I don't see them often. Now being both of us are gamers, our friends hear it all the time through teamspeak. And the jokes never cease. Anyways. I don't even get pleasure out of it, it's just a reflex. Also! Thanks for the comments! You guys are great!

Looking like a fool...

By Pantsontheground - 09/08/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Today, my pants kept falling down. Since I didn't have a belt on, I decided to tuck the waistband around my underwear to keep them in place. While on a date, I tried to adjust my pants, but ended up pulling them down along with my boxers. In the middle of a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 3 057

Bullet = Dodged

By nikkei - 01/09/2018 22:00

Today, while paying for dinner, my card declined and my date immediately left. The waitress then ran my card again successfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 274

You deserved it 217

For better or for worse

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Vienna

Today, I realized I didn't want to come home from a business trip because I like my job more than my husband. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 741

Fierce kitty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Miami

Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302

You deserved it 32 536

By stopfollowingmemeansstopfollowingme - 07/09/2018 20:30 - Australia - Matraville

Today, I tried to repay a friend's kindness by taking her visiting brother out for lunch while she was at work. He must have misread my friendliness, as he ended up following me home. I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 27/09/2018 19:37

Today, while picking up my dog from the groomer, the back of my hand accidentally brushed against the entire side of her boob. She stopped talking mid-sentence. I'm going to need to find a new groomer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 648

You deserved it 490

Debbie Baker Minium tells us more.

Debbie Baker Minium 8

Thursday 27 September 2018 4:09

OP here. Just to clarify...I have a little 7 lb dog & the groomer was holding her. I reached to take her & the groomer turned sideways which is how my hand brushed her boob. And of course I apologized!!!! I'm a woman by the way so it wasn't a man on woman grope or anything --- still awkward and embarrassing. I love this groomer though so I will probably suck up the awkwardness and be more careful next time!!! :-)

By yikesss - 23/10/2018 03:00

Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 447