Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
His testicles, balls, scrotum, ‘nads, gonads, stones, huevos...
RichardPencil 32
Was it an accident or retribution for the ginormous medical bill?
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Comments (4)
slowhandjp 18
Hi! I'm Japanes.What does "right on my nuts''mean?
RichardPencil 32
His testicles, balls, scrotum, ‘nads, gonads, stones, huevos...
RichardPencil 32
Was it an accident or retribution for the ginormous medical bill?
Memnoc 26
Pain displacement therapy!