By ijustwannaplaymymusic - United States - Jackson Today, I was practicing the piano. My brother told me that if I loved him, I would stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 12092 You deserved it 1578 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML I agree, your life sucks 8240 You deserved it 30094 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Milo - Canada Looks to Die For... Today, my six-year-old son told me my makeup looks like his grandmother's did in the casket. FML I agree, your life sucks 6069 You deserved it 863 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah - United States Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML I agree, your life sucks 50073 You deserved it 4025 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrewK - United States - Great Falls Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML I agree, your life sucks 46753 You deserved it 4510 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML I agree, your life sucks 26406 You deserved it 3581 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crap - United States Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML I agree, your life sucks 71271 You deserved it 7287 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Queenie Today, my work's annual Christmas party is at 3:00. Everyone in the office is off work at 2:00, except me and the boss who is staying 'til 4:00. I have been informed the boss is leaving early today to attend the Christmas party, but I need to lock up when I leave at 4:00. FML I agree, your life sucks 2694 You deserved it 174 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Taiwan Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 65177 You deserved it 6771 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whitey - Australia Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML I agree, your life sucks 29292 You deserved it 4221 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UGH - United States Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML I agree, your life sucks 18109 You deserved it 80466 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ed - United States Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 29586 You deserved it 11047 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rejectedprobably - United States - Zionsville Today, I asked one of my teachers to write me a letter of recommendation for my top school. Even though I did fairly well in their class, I found out that they don't think that I'm very intelligent, but my "strong, work ethic" makes up for it. They mentioned it in the letter and submitted it. FML I agree, your life sucks 12311 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1125 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Charlotte Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML I agree, your life sucks 43810 You deserved it 2963 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yogabbagabba - United States Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML I agree, your life sucks 20162 You deserved it 38676 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cincinnati Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 27202 You deserved it 1850 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/4/2020 23:00 Wow thanks, I'm cured Today, I learned from my father that all I had to do was eat right and exercise and I would be bipolar free. Gee, why hadn't I thought of that yet? FML I agree, your life sucks 1609 You deserved it 144 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Australia Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML I agree, your life sucks 24916 You deserved it 4875 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DaChief - United States - Highland Park Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML I agree, your life sucks 13283 You deserved it 1081 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By burritobreasts Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML I agree, your life sucks 44046 You deserved it 5290 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sickyandiknowit - United States - Eugene Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML I agree, your life sucks 35021 You deserved it 4831 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadday - United States Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML I agree, your life sucks 32978 You deserved it 3983 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Chatham Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32221 You deserved it 3390 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By juliette - United States - Astoria Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 35678 You deserved it 2512 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notanybetter Today, the drummer from my favorite band threw a drumstick into the crowd during a concert. It hit me on the head and bounced into my friend's hands. She left with a drumstick from a band she didn't want to see in the first place. I left with a bruise. FML I agree, your life sucks 1510 You deserved it 152 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Brantford Thanks dad Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML I agree, your life sucks 42788 You deserved it 3305 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikeyamazing - France Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31396 You deserved it 4775 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bronieswillrule5eva - Canada - Summerside Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML I agree, your life sucks 24545 You deserved it 3447 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Michelle - 19/12/2020 08:01 Since when has that been there? Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML I agree, your life sucks 333 You deserved it 745 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why - 6/11/2020 23:01 Delusional Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML I agree, your life sucks 1023 You deserved it 81 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Worstjob - United States Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML I agree, your life sucks 39241 You deserved it 4432 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatelife - Canada Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17212 You deserved it 28393 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GreenScar - United States Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML I agree, your life sucks 66694 You deserved it 5610 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/5/2020 23:00 Fear factor Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 1615 You deserved it 153 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tb351 - United States Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 38383 You deserved it 8432 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By honk honk, fuckwad - United States - San Francisco Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML I agree, your life sucks 23804 You deserved it 5918 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dorrisdoes - New Zealand Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 38243 You deserved it 10121 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannah - United Kingdom Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 27779 You deserved it 4131 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML I agree, your life sucks 1580 You deserved it 352 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By makayta - United States - Los Angeles Today, a coworker asked me how I was because I looked down. I said, "You don't want to know." They replied, "You're right, I don't," and walked off. FML I agree, your life sucks 8752 You deserved it 3746 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML I agree, your life sucks 42756 You deserved it 5268 282 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShleeG | 23 #6616167 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:20 Stop for a minute, think about it, shrug your shoulders and start playing again Send a private message 152 3 Reply
By SOILEDIT | 51 #6616169 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:20 Consider his words deeply and play super abnoxiously. Send a private message 94 5 Reply
By ShleeG | 23 #6616167 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:20 Stop for a minute, think about it, shrug your shoulders and start playing again Send a private message 152 3 Reply
By SOILEDIT | 51 #6616169 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:20 Consider his words deeply and play super abnoxiously. Send a private message 94 5 Reply
Reply arano | 29 #6616454 - Saturday 28 May 2016 1:16 Well at least his user fits. He definitely soiled it. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Reply SOILEDIT | 51 #6616595 - Saturday 28 May 2016 5:53 It's obnoxious* to correct someone. ;) Send a private message 0 3 Reply
Reply Thorzix | 23 #6616792 - Saturday 28 May 2016 14:33 No it isn't. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply LPisLame | 16 #6616886 - Saturday 28 May 2016 17:34 you should consider your words...obnoxiously... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By tigerisabelle | 31 #6616172 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:22 So tell him you don't love him and keep playing. Or, get better at piano. Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply fakedsincerity | 32 #6616183 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:41 The way to get better is to keep playing though. Send a private message 21 0 Reply
Reply SpyroMello | 29 #6616188 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:44 It's not the piano that sucks #3, OP's brother doesn't like OP's playing. Send a private message 1 13 Reply
Reply thatweirdasian | 22 #6616212 - Friday 27 May 2016 17:13 lol, #3 is telling OP to get better at playing the piano, not to get a better piano. Send a private message 10 0 Reply
Reply pauls90 | 3 #6617268 - Sunday 29 May 2016 4:53 I read it as she needed to get a better piano, until I re-read it. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Fenbrae | 17 #6616175 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:23 This is where you play his least favorite song to drive the point home. Send a private message 16 1 Reply
Reply Ben_Dover831 | 19 #6616730 - Saturday 28 May 2016 10:26 I like the way you think. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By NoThanks999 | 19 #6616179 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:28 maybe you tuned your brothers wrong key Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By DoomedGemini | 37 #6616180 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:33 I play flute and typically got threats from my brother. Still can't play unless he's not around. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Swan_Nazi | 22 #6616181 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:36 I hope you played louder than before Send a private message 9 0 Reply
By kowsee | 22 #6616189 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:44 So, do you love him? Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By danman27 | 15 #6616191 - Friday 27 May 2016 16:46 Some people are producers and others are consumers. The consumers are really insecure, so they try to stop others from producing. Keep being a producer. Send a private message 7 5 Reply
By Iamskynet | 18 #6616232 - Friday 27 May 2016 17:48 consider another instrument like maybe Banjos Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Reply freddygasman | 18 #6616367 - Friday 27 May 2016 21:14 or maybe the accordion. everyone loves the accordion. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I went on a date. I didn’t want to go to his house, but we all have needs. I told him I should leave because I needed my medication in the morning.... I agree, your life sucks 227 You deserved it 144 4 Comments
Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 98 2 Comments