Health: Today, my application to join the navy was rejected due to having... - FML

By ViviMage - United States - Paulsboro

Today, my application to join the navy was rejected due to having cancer in the past. It would seem my sister applied, we see the same doctor, and the office assistant pulled the wrong chart to submit the past medical history on because she forgot her ABCs. I was rejected before I ever applied. FML

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ViviMage tells us more :

I/OP didn't submit anything! My sister did but it was rejected because my medical file was attached, and I had cancer. If I have seizures daily and get seasick in a daily basis with a permanent balance impairment issue, why would I join the Navy?

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By learntmylesson - France

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

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By Depressed - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

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By fuckoffgramps - United States - New Freedom

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

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By Elizabeth Ann - 12/7/2020 08:01

Boom!

Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

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By guamfml - Guam

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

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By Mojosahomo - United States - Salt Lake City

Thanksssss

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

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By redneckpunk - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

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By Mcwifi - United States - Elmhurst

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Mclean

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Madison

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

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By same - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

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By

Today, while working at a grocery store, I spent about 30 minutes pushing carts inside in a blizzard. Not even 10 minutes after I had finished, I looked out the window and saw that not only had the snow completely stopped, but the sun was shining. FML

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By Savannah - United States

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

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By stellarshaun - United States

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

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By Les Miserables is so sad - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

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By Anon - New Zealand

Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

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By Crap - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

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By Dinger1992 - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

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By jules - United States

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

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By lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

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By Mothertucker

Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

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By Falcka - 12/4/2021 04:59

The client is always right

Today, I was waitressing at the diner and a guy ordered two eggs, one scrambled and one poached. He hurled his plate at me angrily because they "scrambled the egg he wanted poached and poached the egg he wanted scrambled." He stormed out without paying. FML

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By gottacatchemall - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

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By shinoza - Malaysia

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

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By lilviss - Australia

It was yummy

Today, I found maggots in the ketchup on my sausage. Too bad I had already eaten half of it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

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By Sola

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

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By Weirdo - United States

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

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By sadwife - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

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By 800z - United Kingdom

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

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By suckishbf - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

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By areyouserious - United States - Fresno

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

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By Olihime - United Kingdom

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

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Top comments

By Abbusser | 9

#7683110 - Sunday 26 August 2018 18:48

And now your doctor is facing a HIPPA violation...

By blue_pitt | 10

#7683106 - Sunday 26 August 2018 18:43

hey OP I'm on the navy and if you get the hospital to fix your records then you could resubmit them and still join (I had to do something similar)

COMMENTS

By blue_pitt | 10

#7683106 - Sunday 26 August 2018 18:43

hey OP I'm on the navy and if you get the hospital to fix your records then you could resubmit them and still join (I had to do something similar)

Reply

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7683307 - Monday 27 August 2018 2:30

Resubmit what? OP didn't apply, the sister did.

Reply

almost_there44 | 26

#7683314 - Monday 27 August 2018 3:09

After reading the FML, how do you think OP's sister applied? Wouldn't she have written this...🙄

Reply

Briarpatch | 20

#7684413 - Wednesday 29 August 2018 2:04

I think it would be the phrase, "It would seem my sister applied," that makes people think that it was his sister who applied. Call me crazy.....

Reply

KittyMack | 13

#7686402 - Saturday 1 September 2018 21:29

OK yeah but same advice goes... Sister can still get a shot at her goals. And that is good news.

By Abbusser | 9

#7683110 - Sunday 26 August 2018 18:48

And now your doctor is facing a HIPPA violation...

By chosha_fml | 25

#7683133 - Sunday 26 August 2018 19:41

That seems fixable. Good luck with your resubmitted application.

Reply

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7683304 - Monday 27 August 2018 2:27

OP didn't submit an application, so they can't resubmit one.

Reply

Cali | 54

#7683753 - Monday 27 August 2018 21:31

bl3ur0z3 - OP submitted an application and was rejected because they received his sister's medical records from the family doctor instead of his.

Reply

ViviMage | 38

#7683880 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 3:02

I/OP didn't submit anything! My sister did but it was rejected because my medical file was attached, and I had cancer.

If I have seizures daily and get seasick in a daily basis with a permanent balance impairment issue, why would I join the Navy?

Reply

Cali | 54

#7684221 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 18:17

Oh wow! I totally misunderstood... I think because you started with "my application" - my bad!

Reply

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7684348 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 23:04

Reading comprehension

Reply

SneezyBear | 27

#7684581 - Wednesday 29 August 2018 9:27

Same - it was confusingly written lol. When OP said "my application was rejected" because of a mix up in medical records with their sister, it really made it seem like it was OP who applied and the sister was the one who had cancer and messed things up for OP lol

By Yudith | 20

#7683254 - Sunday 26 August 2018 23:15

Well now you know that the Navy rejects people when they had cancer in the past. Fortunately, most employers don't use such flimsy excuses to refuse applicants.

Reply

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7683306 - Monday 27 August 2018 2:29

It's not a flimsy excuse. The Navy has risk factors to take bnb into consideration. It's not a Wal-Mart job.

By leeloo7 | 22

#7683274 - Monday 27 August 2018 0:37

It’s a sign just stay away from the navy😁

By Adam Steege | 8

#7684031 - Tuesday 28 August 2018 10:36

I am so confused. If OP was rejected before ever applying, does that mean it was the sister who applied and the doctor sent OPs medical history instead?
Or is it the other way around?

Reply

SneezyBear | 27

#7684582 - Wednesday 29 August 2018 9:29

OP has followed up and it appears your first guess was correct.

By KittyMack | 13

#7686403 - Saturday 1 September 2018 21:31

I do hope that office assistant is looking for a new job these days.

By Envy22 | 32

#7714086 - Friday 26 October 2018 4:37

Praying for you.