The Top

Nah, he's not a jerk. I'm not too mad, it was just kinda embarrassing at the time. Anyway the guys always been really forgetful and disorganized, plus he's retiring this year too so I guess I'm not hugely surprised lmao

Fancy seeing you here

By Pikababy19 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up and heard the shower running. Would have been nice to know my father-in-law was here before I walked in naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 075

You deserved it 2 344

Good excuse.

By and somehow you have a master's degree - 07/11/2017 01:30

Today, my faculty mentor for my senior capstone project wasn't at my presentation for the entire department faculty. I assumed his wife or kids were sick, but that piece of shit told me himself that he was at home watching the new season of Stranger Things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 235

You deserved it 359

Maths

By lorena_v - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 4 234

By fmlsheffgirl - 25/07/2016 11:52 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after months of putting up with it, I finally asked my manager not to put me on shifts with this old guy who is racist, sexist and lazy. This was how I found out that he died over the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 1 744

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 607

You deserved it 659

Nature is healing

By anonymous - 30/06/2016 05:27 - United States - Forney

Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 331

You deserved it 2 478

By halza - 30/05/2016 11:03 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 452

You deserved it 983

By ryzzostar - 25/05/2016 19:50 - United States - Seminole

Today, I finally got my screaming, teething, 1-year-old daughter down for a nap to hopefully get some work done. The second I opened my laptop, FedEx dropped off a package and rang the doorbell. My dog went nuts. Then my neighbor rang the doorbell to let me know I had a package. My daughter's awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 804

You deserved it 960

ryzzostar tells us more.

ryzzostar 16

Friday 27 May 2016 9:01

I'm OP. There has been a sign on my doorbell since I brought her home that says "IF YOU RING THIS DOORBELL YOU WIN A SCREAMING BABY", as for the dog she's been through training (several times) but she failed... but she's as good-natured as they come, and my neighbor means well, he wanted to make sure I brought in the package because there has been a lot of theft in my neighborhood lately. My daughter was very premature but never been sick so we use natural remedies over Orajel and Tylenol/Motrin, she rarely fusses about her teeth, it was just one of those days.

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 725

You deserved it 1 123

By Emma Eisnor - 18/06/2018 06:14

Today, my boyfriend tried to be nice and change my oil, but he accidentally emptied all my transmission fluid into the pan. When he poured it back into my car, we realized he never put the cap back on and all my transmission fluid was poured all over the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 543

Emma Eisnor tells us more.

Emma Eisnor 15

Monday 18 June 2018 2:02

Yay my second FML posted! He was trying to do something nice. I wasn’t really that mad. He drove to the store and bought me more transmission fluid so we were fine. He’s a sweetheart, my oil never got changed though haha.

Geography lessons

By nootnoot - 10/05/2016 06:33 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today, some people in my class here in New Zealand found out that I'm from Canada, then spent the rest of the period asking if I had a pet moose and whether or not I lived in an igloo. They were completely genuine questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 793

You deserved it 1 494

Creepypasta

By running scared - 08/04/2016 09:40 - Norway

Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You're such a cute couple!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 700

You deserved it 1 827

By someone something - 28/08/2018 18:31

Today, I was taking a shower when I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and broke my nose by slamming my face in the open toilet. Thank you, epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 850

You deserved it 187

someone something tells us more.

someone something 20

Tuesday 28 August 2018 6:41

I usually do keep a positive attitude because a negative one is just gonna bring you down. But this is the first time I've ever broken anything and I now have to use a shower chair because my parents and neurologist think it's too dangerous for me to stand. Also, someone needs to be in the bathroom so we can talk and make sure I'm not seizing

By RootyTootToot - 31/08/2018 22:00

Today, I got a call from "No Caller ID", which usually only shows up when someone calls from my house phone. Thinking it was my kids, I answered imitating a cartoon voice. It wasn't my kids. It was the district attorney's office calling about the job I applied for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 624

You deserved it 1 541