By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 167
You deserved it 8 981

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zingline89 18

give him tampons and pink nail polish


zingline89 18

He'd probably try to smoke it. On the other hand that could be a better substitute than the patch or the gum.

#13: You know this from experience? Actually, don't answer that.

I've never had the displeasure of inhaling neither smoke nor dick, no, but I heard that having other oral habits helps sate the nicotine craving.

ILoveMyArm 15

Though, one might end up with a sex addiction like that. Either way, they are screwed. No pun intended.

42 Addictions in general are pretty much "bad." I do agree that a sex addiction isn't the worst thing ever, though.

ILoveMyArm 15

I never said they were bad, now did I? I just meant that in trying to take away one addiction you are getting another, you know, as a joke. Though I do agree with 43, all addictions are, to some extent, bad.

RedPillSucks 31

It's the side effects of sex addiction that's bad. Ask Tiger Woods about the dent on the back sides of his head or the fact that he lost half his net worth.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Psh.. Tiger Woods is not a sex addict. Don't you remember that South Park episode? People play around with the word addiction a lot, it just means they have no will power. Anyone can get addicted to something, but the ones who turn into fiends have absolutely no inner strength. I for one, have no pity for those people either.

Rddvl 11

Are the cigarettes better than what he got you the first and second year?

TheDrifter 23

Maybe they're symbolic and he's giving up smoking? Just didn't get a chance to explain his present before he had to flee for his life?

Oh yes, that makes a lot of bloody sense: "I'm gonna give up smoking. In order to do that, I'll have to gift my wife another pack of cigarettes for our anniversary" And have you ever considered the possibility him simply forgetting to buy an actual present and just ending up giving her his pack of cigarettes to avoid the embarrassment of not having a gift?

Darren22 12

Well how terribly inconsiderate of him. I think you and he need to sit down and set his priorities straight.

Make sure not to let him have the cigarettes, give them to another friend of yours who smokes but isn't as rude and selfish as him!

give him tampons and pink nail polish

Tampons are not for girls, they're for boys' bloody noses; he would find them extremely useful seeing as what he deserves is a good ol' punch in the face.

Ummmm.... no. Tampons are for girls.

34, you do realise that 14 was being sarcastic, right?

50, I don't think anybody understands sarcasm anymore... It's quite sad really

Buy him a cute dress and some sexy heels for his birthday. ;)

RedPillSucks 31

Yeah. Don't act surprised when he looks good in them.

Just say, "Thanks - how did you know?" Then proceed to take them, dump em, and enjoy his confusion.

Damn, for the first time I'll gladly use the phrase "You deserve better"...