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Well, also the first part of fixing the problem is being able to admit you have one.
I don't think anyone would want to.admit they did that
It's one thing to own up to your mistakes and admit your past. It's entirely different to be expected to share a difficult part of your life when asked about it by someone you've just met. Especially if someone else told them about it without your knowledge. Not excusing lying, but how many people would share their life struggles when caught off guard by someone they've just met?
A bit insensitive to even bring it up tbh.
Just explain to them that your mom feels bad about it, and felt pressured when they brought up bad times from the past.They shouldn't have been so nosy anyways. Fyl op
I agree - why on earth did they feel like they had the right to bring up such a personal topic with someone they have just met? FYL for having insensitive and judgmental in-laws.
Some people are unbelievable! FYL op, apparently his parents have dark minds, you never told them to begin with, I hope your husband also feels like an ass for opening his mouth and giving his parents info to put u in a situation like that!
Your husband's parents kind of seem like douchebags. Is that really something that should be brought up the first time meeting?
Bringing if up was bad enough but expecting op's mom to admit to it and discuss it like it was no big thing just adds insult to injury. Why would they think this was appropriate conversational material?
I think the husband deserves some blame too. That's such a deeply personal issue. I can't think of any situation where he would need to share ops private family matters with his parents without asking for her permission first or at the very least notifying her that he told them. If op is close and comfortable enough with the in laws I'm assuming she could have shared it with them at some point. If she is not close with them, I don't see why they would need to know.
I agree. To automatically assume her denial means you're lying is just brainless
That's probably something you should talk to your husband about, for talking about private family things behind your back. Also, jeez, his parents are tactless.
He probably was trying to help them understand a particular situation or make them not touch on certain subjects. I doubt it was he who had bad intentions. What his parents decided to do with it though shows a complete lack of good (social) manners. I think he's only to blame if he knew that his parents were ignorant b******* of if she explicitely forbade it.
The idea that she was the one who ended up feeling hurt (not just because of the touchy subject, but also because they don't believe her) is preposterous. FYL OP, I wish you lots of stenght in the future.
"Nice to meet you. How was your trip? Ah, yes, traffic on I95 is terrible this time of day. Believe me, I know. I used to have to commute on that highway five days a week. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. Hey, remember that time you had to give up your children because of your alcohol dependency? Let's talk about that."
That is pretty much how I imagined it happening as well. What a weird topic to talk about when you first meet sometime...
Well that's not right! At least it seems your husband is by your side.
Well, not really, if he discussed it with his family without her knowledge. Not a whole lot of support there. I'd be pretty upset if my partner told his family about sensitive things I had told him in confidence.
Explain the situation and hope for the best
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Your husband's parents kind of seem like douchebags. Is that really something that should be brought up the first time meeting?
Just explain to them that your mom feels bad about it, and felt pressured when they brought up bad times from the past.They shouldn't have been so nosy anyways. Fyl op