Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, after I'd spent ages planning a surprise proposal at the beach, right as I got down on one knee, a seagull swooped in, stole the sandwich from my backpack, and everyone on the beach turned to watch the bird instead of us. My partner had to ask, "Were you about to propose?" FML
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
Today, while having lunch on a pier, I tried to take an artsy photo of my food for Instagram. Just as I was about to snap the pic, a seagull swooped in and snatched my chips right out of the paper bag in my hand. I didn't even get a photo of the robbery. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Natasha14641 7
Haha, a "flock of seagulls".
docscientist 10
It was moderated because the 'women belonging in the kitchen' joke is overused and lowers a person's faith in humanity after reading, thus worsening the economy as the stock market crashes or something.
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Comments (62)
Natasha14641 7
Haha, a "flock of seagulls".
Frelling 0
Did OP get their autographs?
broccoli2 0
"mine."
trick619 0
who cares? it happens to almost everyone who goes to the beach.
Ray_of_midnight 23
I thought OP was going to conclude the the story with, "I ran." But then again, I was just Wishing.
Natasha14641 7
Hahaha, you guys.
Leebra 6
36 - That made me giggle.
Randuhh_17 4
lol...that reminds me of that old movie..."the birds"..when birds attack!
mazzera_fml 7
i ran, i ran all night and day. i couldn't get away.
insanesna1l 0
be afraid of the hair!!
smileeee_fml 0
LOL haard it happens to everyone who goes beach ...
TheScreamoGirl 0
hahaha my thoughts exactly
iSwizzle 4
67 that movie rocks!
vanilla2u 5
aww poor sandwhich
OMG_N3RD 0
Ok
KatieRawrr 0
this happened to me once :( I was so hungry too sigh... bird bullies
RoxxyHustle 7
damn you beat me to it!
qwaszxwesdxc 0
You ranso far away (I ran)
asselhoff 5
haha that's funny even though it sucks
ImaWiseGuy 5
mine....mine....mine....mine....
Elphieba 4
What of they attacked your sister? Good thing attacked you, less damage because your bigger.
ydi_4_suking 20
what if the little sister is bigger than the big sister?
gutzz 0
Great Scott!!!! I think you just made a conundrum.
Grimmerie 31
Janet! Dr. Scott! Janet! Brad! Rocky! -silence-
HouseHunter 2
no conundrum there. I'm taller than my big brother
clojo1112 0
was it a tuna sandwich?
Miss_Michaela 10
2 slices of bread containing Tuna between the 2.
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Thank you captain obvious. I thought it was tuna bread tuna -.-
docscientist 10
You sure it isn't tuna around the edges of the bread?
Miss_Michaela 10
Oh. I read 'Wat is.' not was it. Sorry!!
NineFishMffns_fml 0
lol!! all the comments above made me laugh!! :D! hate birds :p
HeavyMetalViking 0
Well, get back into the kitchen and make another sandwich woman.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Awww, I got moderated. D: guess sexist jokes are out just like Chuck Norris jokes.
unidentified_sta 5
I didn't get to read it but it was probably extremely terrible. Moderated for the sake of avoiding damage to our Humerus(es?).
HeavyMetalViking 0
well it contained words like "kitchen, woman and sandwich lol"
docscientist 10
It was moderated because the 'women belonging in the kitchen' joke is overused and lowers a person's faith in humanity after reading, thus worsening the economy as the stock market crashes or something.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Now I can't use those jokes as well as the 'yo mama' and 'chuck norris' ones.
allmidnighteyes 11
That's probably for the better. Those jokes aren't funny to anyone but the mentally inept... which is probably why a high amount of FML commenters think they are...
HeavyMetalViking 0
and no fair #12 didn't get moderated lol.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Well done #72. You want a fortune cookie for that?
MyNameIsBruce 0
It depends, there are sone funny ones...
T3P33_fml 0
well some OC jokes can be quite good but most of the time it's just the same 3 jokes being copypasted or with < 4 letter changes...
jess6blondie9 3
Oh hell nah! Not the sandwich. Damn seagulls.
Miss_Michaela 10
You can just imagine her screaming "Not the face, not the face!".
jess6blondie9 3
Um no... I imagine her screaming "Not the sandwich, not the sandwich!"
SandraGee 7
Damn those seagulls. Lol, they have no mercy.
thaney18 0
Not the sammy!!!
Penn2894 6
Birds are EVIL.
nswan 5
tell your little sister to get back in the kitchen and make you another one!
docscientist 10
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.