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Bad boy

By Rich - 19/05/2010 20:43 - United States

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 309

You deserved it 4 627

By Aspireworks - 29/01/2013 22:46 - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 313

You deserved it 2 795

Bananarama

By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 7 510

Call the cops

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 969

You deserved it 4 758

Public Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, my partner was driving. We were coming up to a sharp bend up a hill when suddenly a girl and a boy came speeding down the hill on a scooter. My partner stopped well before, but they fell off the kerb. We got out to check they were OK. The girl blamed us and kicked me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 105

You absolute melt

By errints234234 - 13/05/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 715

You deserved it 47 508

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 410

You deserved it 9 873

By Username - 22/04/2011 14:42

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 144

You deserved it 5 236

Home delivery

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 08:01

Today, I received two letters: an eviction notice and a Dear John. Neither went through the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 94

Three piece suite

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 06:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I found out my father sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at night to inform them there was a bat in the house. I’m traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 121

You deserved it 6 219

Distant

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 00:01

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 176

By samikai523 - 18/04/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 754

You deserved it 7 933

By d - 26/03/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, when I was trying to break up with my boyfriend, I told him how I needed space and time to think. His response was, "Ok, we're out of condoms anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 128

You deserved it 9 558

By FenderBender - 03/09/2009 04:54 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 43 627

By amandapurple - 22/02/2009 19:02 - United States

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 776

You deserved it 12 397

By crazytown62 - 14/02/2012 15:32 - United States

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 6 633

By wellhellothere - 17/04/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 012

You deserved it 3 325

Marcel Duchamp would be proud

By Mxx - 12/03/2020 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was looking through an old box of personal artwork when I realised the entire box was damp. This was all my own art from the past 3 years, smudged and smelling of cat urine. I was supposed to showcase some of it in a competition winning gallery this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 403

Wigging out

By Stacey Halvorson - 19/07/2021 04:01

Today, I was riding my bike on a sunny but windy afternoon. Coming up to an intersection, the wind switched directions and my wig blew off and landed in the middle of the road. At this point, I was almost at the other side but I had to turn around and grab my hair before the light turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 341

Is he wrong though?

By Impossible - 03/08/2025 12:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, a friend who works for the power company said, "Nuclear energy is clean and safe, hydro power is great, but we also need coal and gas, and wind and solar are dogshit." Again, he works for the power company. How does a so-called expert get it all so wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 554

By dylanhollis - 17/01/2014 12:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 823

You deserved it 9 201

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 662

You deserved it 6 382

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 000

You deserved it 4 049

Playing the odds

By Anonymous - 20/07/2021 14:01

Today, I found out my husband sent 3000 friend requests to random women on Facebook. He says it's no big deal and doesn't mean anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 88

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 18:30 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 938

You deserved it 18 500

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 015

You deserved it 5 900

By d0pey - 20/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 899

You deserved it 3 457

Nokia 3310 FTW

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 02:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 2 073

By -_- - 12/01/2014 08:03 - United States

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 477

You deserved it 4 927

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The Top

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 201

You deserved it 2 282

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if I could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over, he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 305

You deserved it 4 650

Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 129

Today, when I got up for work, I went into the bathroom and saw a coat hanger sitting in the crack of the window. I had a panic attack, thinking someone had tried to break in and grabbed a knife. I ran into the room where my boyfriend was sleeping and he said he put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 305

Today, I went to my parents' for dinner, who greeted me outside and immediately my mom said, “What are you wearing? Go to my room and change your shirt.” I was with my husband and I’m 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 144

Today, my husband is so strict that even on the rare occasion I get to leave the house alone, I’m not allowed to speak to men in any capacity. I can’t even go through a line with a male cashier or male bank teller and I have pay at the pump in case a guy is working at the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 307