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By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 10:43 - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 160

You deserved it 4 464

By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 615

You deserved it 3 954

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold with an important client, I said to my co-workers, "Fucking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite." I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 608

You deserved it 41 021

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 445

You deserved it 6 101

Waning

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 22:00 - Australia - Newham

Today, I love my partner but also have negative thoughts as well. She stopped being interested in me about 6 months into our relationship. We have been together for 12 years. We have made love on 3 different occasions in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 465

Guess the country

By All I want for Christmas is loan forgiveness - 25/12/2025 09:00

Today, I learned that our evil fascist pedophile rapist "President" will start seizing property of people behind on their student loans next month. What property? I have an old crappy car and a dumpy apartment, and I work 2 jobs just to tread water. Take my fucking organs, I guess, they're all I've got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 398

By AlreadyInDebt - 26/01/2011 08:52 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 099

You deserved it 8 027

By Rosies - 30/11/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 626

You deserved it 3 027

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 317

You deserved it 37 657

Surprise surprise!

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 26/01/2023 14:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, my girlfriend's parents have been having issues with her older brother and her mom called to say she was flying over to stay with my girlfriend. I'm twice my girlfriend's age and she hasn't told her parents about me. She also sublet out her apartment and we have been living together for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 939

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people, and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 541

You deserved it 3 147

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 8 496

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:40 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 579

You deserved it 4 040

Sorry for nothing, lady

By bad samaritan - 23/10/2012 03:51 - United States - Houston

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 134

You deserved it 1 682

Spooky!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 16:22 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 084

You deserved it 2 366

By reject - 21/01/2011 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, when taking a group picture with my closest friends, a passing parent congratulated us on getting into the same university for next year. She's wrong. They're all going to Cambridge, except for me. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 098

You deserved it 5 932

By blind_loser - 12/07/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 745

You deserved it 3 319

By anotherfmladdict - 26/09/2013 07:06 - United States - Muscatine

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 5 299

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 058

You deserved it 3 383

By TearfulDaughter - 19/01/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 015

You deserved it 3 191

By kaytiebobaytie - 24/01/2010 18:30 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 479

You deserved it 7 791

Pressing charges

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was out of town but saw the Ring camera footage of a woman dragging my wife out of our house by her hair and beat the brakes off her on the front lawn. The woman was the mother of the girl our daughter had been bullying. When confronted, our daughter laughed and said, "Oh well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 484

By sadlife - 09/07/2009 18:50 - Canada

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 316

You deserved it 66 561

Day terrors

By Shameonme - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 698

You deserved it 61 693

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 134

Gaslighting 101

By mommy issues - 04/12/2021 04:56 - United States

Today, my mom refuses to believe that she’s responsible for my anxiety and nervous bowel conditions. She has screamed and berated me literally every day since I can remember. She would burst into my room and accuse me of hiding someone in there, and constantly used her religion to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 153

By katie_sadface - 15/10/2012 02:19 - Canada

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 3 014

By southernpride93 - 18/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 403

You deserved it 4 195

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 058

You deserved it 8 627

By noooooo - 22/01/2010 07:32 - Canada

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 069

You deserved it 8 504

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The Top

Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me 2 tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 452

You deserved it 908

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 652

You deserved it 4 673

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 161

You deserved it 1 318

Today, I'd been talking to this girl for 3 months, and she finally agreed on a date. We got drinks and food, then she said, "I'm just going to the bathroom", then never came back, and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 154

Today, a man I matched with on a dating app told me I was very unattractive but he would let me blow him if I put something over my face and kept all my clothes on. How did I get so lucky? FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 183

Today, I cooked pork chops on my wok that had been hanging on the pot hangers without rinsing it off. Just when I was about to eat, I saw a fried up spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 550