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By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 201

You deserved it 4 365

By Anonymous - 21/10/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 556

You deserved it 2 934

By foreveralone - 01/12/2014 14:37 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 319

You deserved it 10 942

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 01:15 - United States

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 799

You deserved it 7 146

Hair code

By MoreThanABadHairDay - 25/03/2023 04:00

Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 103

Time's up

By blueballed - 29/11/2014 21:08 - Germany - Kiel

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 983

You deserved it 8 293

By PissOffPottermore - 13/09/2012 14:31 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 4 532

By jaleesadavis21 - 18/10/2011 13:25 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 029

You deserved it 4 362

Ideal location

By Garageless - 14/10/2020 05:02

Today, I live near the bottom of a hill, where there's a curve and I'm seriously considering moving, because someone drove through my garage into the ravine. Insurance says they don't cover "Acts of God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 85

Is everything OK?

By Spooky - 22/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I found myself daydreaming about being a skeleton. Why? Because skeletons don't have skin, so they don't develop giant pimples in inconvenient places that make you unable to move without discomfort. In this case, on the back of my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 108

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 800

You deserved it 2 822

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 5 241

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 442

You deserved it 792

By the bad artist - 10/09/2012 00:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 418

You deserved it 2 629

By Nixontones - 14/10/2011 15:09 - United States

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 086

You deserved it 2 524

Soggy

By ninjapup - 02/01/2010 04:40 - Canada

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 166

You deserved it 2 988

System Failure

By FML Videos - 13/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Malfunction - the system is down!

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 78

Nightmare

By yomama - 25/01/2022 22:59

Today, I'm struggling with my mental and emotional health, as well as my marriage. Our 25 year-old daughter, who is failing at adulting, wants to move back in after only being gone for slightly over a year. I love my child, but she's a nightmare to live with. I'm gonna run away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 389

Meddling

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 04:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sitting in math class taking notes on my laptop when my mom texted me, asking why I wasn’t in class. She has my location for security purposes. I’m 19 and in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 144

Filthy animal

By Chris - 25/01/2022 14:01

Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 113

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 02:00

Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 251

Fragile

By fuckfuckfuckfuck - 24/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my wife asked if I wanted a threesome with her friend for my birthday. I couldn't tell if she was being sincere, or secretly testing me. I had such a bad panic attack that I passed out and went to the hospital. Oh, and she's mad at me now for "getting excited at the prospect of cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 140

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 40 285

Bad date

By Dammit Brain - 23/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I went on a lunch date with a guy I used to work with. When the conversation got dry, I asked him if he went by “Chris” or “Christopher” these days. His name is Daniel. My brain knew my mistake as I said it. Just when I thought the silence couldn’t get more awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 462

Cat fight club

By anonymous - 14/12/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 570

You deserved it 6 302

By Rainman - 14/06/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 14 325

Workaholic

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 18:00

Today, on our honeymoon, I found out my husband brought his work laptop with him. We were supposed to go scuba diving but he skipped it for virtual meetings, then sat on his laptop until 2 a.m. He then had the nerve to be confused about why I’m mad at him and just want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 152

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 174

You deserved it 17 593

Don't have fun without me

By torri - 09/01/2022 11:01 - United States

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 1 292

Digger blues

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 06:00

Today, thanks to my husband's obsession with needing a massive garage built instead of a bog standard garden shed, we dug up some Roman building last week, and our garden is now swarming with archaeologists banging on about history and ruining my weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 1 190

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The Top

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 211

You deserved it 2 512

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 932

You deserved it 2 265

Today, while walking around outside with my friends, I was told that I have no right to complain about the heat since I'm not fat. Thirty minutes later, I had sweat out all the liquid in my body and promptly passed out from heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 546

Today, I wondered why the cashiers at my local chip shop were being so unusually friendly and knocked money off my bill. Then when I got back to my boyfriend's house, I noticed my bright red bra shining through my black top like a light. I debuted my tits for some chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 594

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 229

Today, I was supposed to attend my best friend's funeral. When I asked my boss for time off, she actually said friends don't justify having the day off, unlike say a blood relative. My boss is autistic, so she struggles to understand certain things, but even for her that was a real prick thing to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 310